I love writing. It’s a gift that I know I am good at, and it’s also a passion. However, coming up with a pretty formulation of words this month has been difficult. I don’t know what to write about, because there is so much that I could write about. But, I have committed the next hour to sitting and clicking my fingers on my laptop, in the hopes that I can produce something. Life-changing, horrible, thought out, courageous, silly, whatever it turns out to be. Something you find worth your time, I hope.
I thought about writing about breathing. It’s the topic I spoke about yesterday to the squad that I am traveling with. While it’s pretty good (I mean it for sure was incredible…), I think I want to update you on what’s been happening in my life this time around with World Race.
My “job” with World Race for these five months is an alumni squad leader. Basically, I have done the Race before and every new squad needs some guidance in the beginning. I am here to be that guidance, along with my other alumni co-leaders Carson and Danny. I knew squad leading was a different ball game entirely, that it would stretch me more and push me further out of my comfort zone. Not just living as an overseas missionary again, but also living to disciple people who are starting to walk in a pair of shoes that I have walked in before.
And while it has been that so far, it’s also been a fun ride of developing friendships within this group. I can’t say I really expected that; I did, but not in the way I have been. It’s quite refreshing. I can be totally myself, still living life “on-mission,” while also having the privilege of being a role model and special part of setting the culture for this squad, so that they can operate well as a mobile church for their 11 months.
Something I didn’t anticipate at all was the pain I have felt at times. As a squad leader there will be months that I bop around to different teams. This first month I did so, while my co-leaders stayed with the two teams they went with. Truthfully, it was hard to do that this month.
I went with team Shalom Sisters the first two weeks. Their ministry host was a church in Kremenents, Ukraine. One of the pastors and his family, who were the main point of contact for us, were absolutely, 100% incredible. The church members that were around us daily were equally as incredible. I haven’t felt so at home in a country and with people of another culture since I was in Mongolia. I fell in love with it all: the people, the church, the small village-city, the locals, the food, Ukraine, the language…
So, when the day came that I had to travel two hours north to a team in Rivne, Ukraine, I was undoubtedly disappointed. It felt like I was leaving my family, because I had been so welcomed and free to join in on the love that they shared. I had a great time with the other team’s ministry as well, but I know it wasn’t the same. I had to realize that this could happen again in another country while I am with this squad. And that it’s okay if it does.
Also while in Ukraine I prayed about coming back, and very assuredly God spoke that I would one day. At least, he gave me peace to choose to do so, simply because I desire to. I put it that way because I have always lived my life following the “one thing” I knew God was saying. Whatever he asked, easy or hard, I did it. That’s 100% good, but I am learning what it looks like for God to give me more than one choice. So this peace I felt was, “of course you will come back, not solely because I am telling you to, but because you love it and I want you to have that desire in your life. I want to see you here, and I know I would do so many incredible things through you here. I am giving you a choice to return if you so wish, because your desire and intentions are good. I know you will still do so with my guidance.”
He gives good gifts to his children, and moving back to Ukraine would be such a beautiful gift.
When will I come back? Who knows, currently my goal is to be overseas in 2020. I’m excited and ready for when that day comes, because I love this country so much and want to see its people walk in the freedom and joy of Jesus. They have him, but they don’t know him personally. Ukraine is primarily Orthodox Christian. Most look at the Protestant faith as cult-like.
From my perspective, Jesus is still on the cross to believers here. He’s still broken and dying, beaten and bloody. While it’s an important thing to remember that Jesus did so for us to be saved, it forgets an importance that came afterwards. In their eyes, He hasn’t been buried and/or resurrected yet. What they are missing is the joy and hope that comes from that reality. And also from the reality, not needing to do anything for him, to just be, and receive his love and salvation as the beautiful and free gift that it is.
Knowing this, I hope you will pray with me for the wonderful country of Ukraine. She’s something special, a treasure trove of gold and riches.
What else could I tell you? I’m growing more in my confidence to walk more fully in my identity. I am learning what it’s like to give what I have, because what I have inside are things that God has given me. It’s not me, it’s God, so I have to give it away.
“The happiest people in life are the givers, not the getters.”
It truly is more blessed to give than to receive. I have felt that so much in this last five days of debrief, as I have taken opportunities to speak into this squads lives and share what I have of God. Sometimes, we have to be positioned to be compelled to share what we know. This position compels me to share what I have, and when I don’t have the answers I point others back to Him. I hope you will also pray for me in this capacity as I am discipling this squad, while I also lean into God to keep learning more.
With that, are you giving away what God has given you? Trust me, let him disciple you, and then go and make disciples (Matt. 28:19.)
As you pray for the things I mentioned above, please also pray and consider supporting me financially. I still have $2,519 until I am fully funded. So blessed to have raised almost $4,000 so far!
Thanks for all your prayers and support,
Hope
*in case you were wondering about what I shared on breathing, here are my notes!*
