I started not feeling well Saturday afternoon. I have had to deal with some stomach things in the past, but something told me this was different. I was having abdominal pains I have never experienced before. I was not able to go to ministry the next day because of the pain. I took some medicine and hoped it would help. Later that afternoon, it was still pretty bad, so we decided it would be smart to go to the clinic to get it checked out. At the clinic, they did a blood test, gave me some antibiotics, and sent me on my way thinking maybe it was a viral thing.
Later that night, around midnight, I woke up in excruciating pain. I couldn’t stand up. I couldn’t sit down. The pain took my breath away. Within the next hour, I was on my way to the hospital. From the way my pain moved and my body language, we thought it might have something to do with my gallbladder.
When we arrived at the hospital, they ran an echo to see if they could see any abnormalities that could be causing the abdominal pain. They did an echo of my stomach, didn’t see anything and deemed it food poisoning. We knew it was something more and insisted on further testing. They got us a holding bed in what was basically their emergency room and gave me IV fluids to fight the dehydration and pain medicine.
The next morning, I got a CT scan and I do not think I could have ever been prepared for what that scan would show. The scan showed a “mass” in my gallbladder. “Mass” could mean a number of things but I knew deep in my heart that this mass was more than just a stone or an error in the scan. I firmly believe that the mass could have caused a very drastic turn in my life. They ordered another CT scan to use contrast to see deeper into what this mass entailed.
I don’t know how much time passed between the first and second scan, but it felt like days and seconds all at the same time.
It was there in that Cambodian emergency room that I truly trusted my life in the Lord’s hands. I have never been so deeply scared in my life. Scared to say His will be done because His will is not always what I want. Scared I was in need of surgery. Scared I would have to get surgery in country but also scared I would have to come back to America early. Scared to scare others. Scared the Lord wouldn’t hear my cries.
but
I also had such a tangible spirit of peace that was somehow greater than those fears. I was praying, and I asked God why this could not have happened while I was in America. In which He told me “Because you wouldn’t turn to me like you are now. I am your comfort.” dang. Then my second distinctive heart cry/answer was the “fact” that I have prayed for miracles of healing over so many people and I have never seen anyone healed. Why should I expect it to be different this time? In which He so simply responded, “maybe you will trust me now.”
So I continued my prayerful plead to the Lord for healing but ultimately His will be done. As scary as that was, I wanted Him to be glorified and accepted that He is enough.
I am taken back for the second scan, choosing to worship through the fears and the tears. I’m sure the doctors and nurses thought I was literally insane because I couldn’t stop crying and I wouldn’t stop singing to myself. Waiting on the results for the second scan was filled with more tears, more prayers, more worship.
The doctor walks up with the results in his hands, hands them to me, and says “looks good!”
what
I
just
The results in my hands. The completely clear results in my hands. The power of the Holy Spirit in my hands. The promise of healing in my hands. Years of doubts crushed by the beauty of the God in my hands.
The magnitude of the fact that the Lord literally just provided a miracle did not begin to sink in until the next morning. I was chilling with Jesus, some worship music, and my IVs when the Lord led me to 2ndCorinthians 1:3-11
Praise to the God of All Comfort
3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles,so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 5 For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. 6 If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 7 And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.
8 We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters,[a] about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. 9 Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. 10 He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us again. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, 11 as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many.
Praise be to the God that brought me comfort and peace in a situation that seemed to have no room for that. Praise be to the God that has surrounded me with a team who loves and care so beautifully for me and my holistic wellbeing. Praise be the God of healing. Won’t. He. Do. IT.
