Recently, the women of my squad had a ladies night! We walked in the meeting space to see tables topped with fragrant candles, plates with our names and a handwritten note in beautiful calligraphy, and our own personal macaroon. The front of the room was filled with vibrant balloons and the sound of music filled the space! Pure! Magic! (if you ask me). As we all found our tables, our brothers from our squad filed into the room one by one, each holding a bouquet of flowers and began handing them out to each of us women. Sometimes the simplest acts make you feel the most loved. Also, the dudes on my squad ROCK.
After we ate and worshipped, one of the women who organized the night, Danielle, stepped up to the front of the room to give her vision for what this night was all about. She shared a story from her own Race in which her squad had a night of vulnerability with one another. She talked about the freedom that came from one person confessing their struggles, which led to someone else relating and confessing that same struggle, which led to the entire room opening up about the deepest darkest parts of themselves. Essentially, Danielle wanted to give us a chance to ask the Lord about something He wanted us to confess and really give us a safe space to share our stories.
We each sat with the Lord and asked Him what it was He was leading us to open up about with our table. After we all kind of knew what the Lord wanted us to share, we all looked at each other, hearts pounding and hands sweating because of the painful vulnerability we were about to share with people, with no guarantee of what their reaction would be. You see, our culture does this thing, even within the church, where we create an atmosphere of fear surrounding certain issues and struggles. Everyone in the room could struggle with the same thing, yet no one could ever experience freedom from their baggage because their struggle is “taboo” or “offensive.” I’m honestly sick of it. How are we as Christians, ever expected to form real, honest community with one another if we don’t even feel safe sharing our full, unfiltered stories with one another?
With that in mind, I want to encourage people to understand that when it comes to *insert sin struggle*, you are never alone. For the sake of my heart and my teammates trust, I won’t be sharing specific stories, but I just want to shed light on some of the most shushed, socially unacceptable subjects that one by one, people were set free from: pornography, masturbation, rape, insecurities, dark thoughts, shame, and baggage that has been carried since childhood.
Our stories are like beach balls. When we push a beach ball under the water, it will inevitably pop up somewhere else in the water. We can try our hardest to push down our struggles and contain them in one part of our life, but the effects of our struggles and our past will come out in our relationships, in our personality, and in other parts of our life. Vulnerability is hard, but the freedom it brings is unrivaled.
