This is a letter to my supporters.
It’s really hard for me to sit here and write this, but I know I owe it to each and every one of you. As some of you know, I’m currently at home in chilly, southern Indiana. 5 months earlier than planned. To just get it out there, I willingly broke part of my contract with Adventures in Missions. I made a mistake, and with mistakes bring consequences. These past 2 weeks have been the hardest days of my life. I didn’t know you could cry for 24 hrs straight, but trust me, you can. Your life can change completely in only a few hours, whether it be from a mistake or just a way of life, it will happen to you, and you’ll most likely never be prepared for it. My first thoughts were full of anger and shame. I hate myself for allowing this to happen, and I hate God for doing this to me. But then it’s like I looked at myself, and was like, “What are you even saying??” Because if I look at all the truths that I’ve learned these past four months, that is something past Katie would say, not more wise and more joyful Katie. I know that,
“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows,” James 1:17.
So how could I know this and try to hate God? He doesn’t change from light to darkness to hurt me. He is a constant light. From that, I realized that the Lord does allow these hard things, because of our free will, to ultimately tell us to,
“….rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us,” Romans 5:3-5.
I was scared of what people would say, but I now know that that doesn’t matter because the Lord firmly loves me like He did before, and He will continue to love me through every hard time, and that’s what’s important. Along with that love, He has a whole plan set out, and He will have good come out from this darkness. During it, all I can do is hope, pray, and cling to the Lord. Because our first reaction is to run away from Him and distract ourselves, and even if we do that, He will still be there, waiting for our return with open arms.
That is the beauty of His grace.
I’m more importantly writing this letter to say I’m sorry. I’m truly sorry for the disappointment of not finishing the World Race. I’m sorry that you supported me on a journey that I wasn’t able to finish. I hope you can forgive me, and continue to pray for me that I will cling to the Lord during this hard time. And the money that some of you may have donated, will still be going to Adventures in Missions to support their missional programs they have and future racers.
So what’s next? Currently I’m living with my parents in their new house. I’m creating my resume in search of a job for the next few months. Going to try and join a church nearby’s college ministry. In the summer, I’m going to try to work at a summer camp, since I love working with children. By the fall, I have plans to be working for a church, and maybe during that time take some online classes for a bible college, not sure which one yet.
Please don’t be afraid to talk to me! I would love to connect with everyone and explain even more. I will leave my phone number at the bottom of this, so feel free to call, text, facebook message, email, whatever!! Thank you for supporting me through my journey. I learned so much about myself, the Lord, and others. My heart is completely changed, and that wouldn’t have happened without you.
Much Love,
Katie
513-603-0100
