Training Camp.
This is just one story from training camp. There will be more!
I spent August 7-18 in Gainsville, Georgia at the Adventures in Missions headquarters training for the World Race.
I went into it super excited to meet my squad, expectant of what God was going to teach me, and totally confident that it would be a piece of cake.
I love camping, we’d probably eat some weird food, do some weird team building stuff, hike around with our packs on, but seriously, how hard could it be?
Hot second of honesty: IT. WAS. HARD.
So ya know when you are meeting a group of people that you will be traveling around the world with for 11 months and you wanna put your best foot forward? Ya know, give a really good first impression? That was my plan.
However, my body had a different idea. I got super sick day 2 of training camp. I don’t get sick often, but when I do it is usually a doozy. This was no exception. Instead of the bright, smiley, cheerful Katie that I had envisioned myself being, I was feverish, puffy eyed, snot-nosed Katie that just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry.
One night all of my squad had to sleep in “community tents”. That night, ten of us girls were all squished in a leaky tent. Everyone was laughing and sharing stories. I was curled up in the corner, doped up on Benadryl, toilet paper from the porta potty shoved up each nostril to stop the snot. Adios to all dreams of good first impressions.
The next evening we were in a worship session. Now if you really know me, you know that I HATE crying in front of people. ESPECIALLY people I just met. That particular night the worship leader was talking about finding freedom from our past, especially in the area of relationships. One particular thing he said really caught me off guard and I just started sobbing (cue obscene amounts of snot). Thankfully I have incredible squad mates and some of them surrounded me with love and prayed over me.
Still, I absolutely hated being so broken and disgusting in front of these people. I kept thinking, “This isn’t me! I’m not a sick, tired, weepy person! I’m supposed to be happy, peppy Katie!”. I was so concerned that people were getting the wrong impression of me, that I lost sight of something big.
The week went on and I tried to stay smiling and energetic, but on the inside I was absolutely exhausted. Training camp ended. I boarded a plan and went home and slept for basically two days straight.
I’m a huge believer in being “real” with people. I don’t wear tons of makeup, I’m pretty blunt and to the point when I speak (sometimes too blunt!), I want people to know the real Katie. Why was it so hard to let myself be real with my team? Why was I ashamed to let them see my gross, sick, broken self? Why was I so obsessed with wanting them to see the “real” me?
Processing through all of this, its funny to me that in my desire for people to see and know the “real” me, it came at the cost of being real with them. In order to give a good first impression I wanted to hide the real, raw, and genuine emotions I was feeling.
As I look forward to the Race beginning in just 6 short weeks, I am realizing more and more that my squad mates and teammates are going to see me at my best and at my worst. We will be caring for one another emotionally, physically, and spiritually for 11 months.
Today I want to challenge myself to really think about what it means to be genuine, to be real. I want to learn to let myself be vulnerable around people and let them care for me when I’m hurting or sick. God has truly given me an incredible community of people to travel the world with. Here’s to 11 months of things getting real ;).
