Dear month one racer…
How’s it going?? Are you feeling excited? Overwhelmed? How about all of the feelings??
I feel like when I watched videos or read blogs about the world race, it was full of life-changing experiences and the Lord working in crazy ways. And it is. But it probably won’t be that way at first, so don’t be discouraged if you aren’t feeling the Lord in ways you were hoping for.
My squad and I just started our 3rd week on the field here in Costa Rica (pura vida!), and oh man I’ve felt the feelings in the past 2 weeks. I’ve been excited and completely full of joy, but also doubting, discouraged, and lost.
Hey, you, racer who is in the same shoes…
IT IS OKAY TO FEEL THIS WAY.
When you go on the mission field, especially after waiting and fundraising for so long, you expect to feel our Papa’s overwhelming presence every day and in powerful ways. You expect to jump into evangelism, transforming people’s lives, and healing the sick. You expect the things that will happen. But don’t be discouraged if they don’t happen right away.
The first week on the field and the first week of ministry, I was honestly so extremely discouraged and just felt a low in a way I hadn’t felt before. I would spend my quiet time in the morning with the Lord, but didn’t feel Him here any differently than I did at home; sometimes I didn’t feel Him at all. I was discouraged when I wasn’t able to jump straight into evangelizing in our ministry, and instead just played with kids for 4 hours a day. I let the fact that my expectations didn’t pan out right away get to me, and I shut down. I didn’t open up to my team or friends and bottled everything inside.
It’s okay to feel this way, but don’t do what I did and shut yourself out. Talk to your team because they really are your family and really will love on you. Don’t feel ashamed to admit you are discouraged and having a hard time because odds are they probably are too. It’s a huge change! Now that I opened up to my team and communicated with them, we’ve grown even closer and are more aware of how we can help encourage each other during this race. And you can’t help others grow until you really experience growth in yourself.
I don’t get to just play with kids for 4 hours a day, I get to be the light of Jesus to them. I am able to teach them how much Jesus loves them just through my actions and some words. Every hug and every “Te amo” from my wonderful kids reaffirms God’s placement not only of me in their lives but of them in mine. And as time goes on, I am so excited to get to know these kids even more and see how God transforms their lives right along with mine.
