Happy Wednesday friends!!
Okay, so it just got real. Monday the 24th marked exactly 4 months until I leave for the race. Woah. 4 months. 120 days. 2880 hours. It’s getting real! The race is beginning to feel more like a reality.
I can’t begin to even tell you how excited I am. But that being said there are some nerves that are starting to settle in too. All of these “what if’s” are floating around in my head and more and more seem to pile in every day. “What if I don’t pack the right things and I’m left without something crucial on the field?” “What if it takes forever to bond with my squad?” and the biggest one, my personal favorite, “What if I don’t raise all the money I need to raise?”.
I’m the type of person who struggles with letting things go. If something’s worrying me or stressing me out, I will not let it go until the problem has resolved itself. So all these “what if’s” floating around in my head aren’t helping me at all. But what I’ve discovered, is that there’s something even worse than focusing on these “what if’s”. And that’s not giving these “what if’s” to the Lord. The Lord has called me to go serve. He has called me to leave my home for three months and go tell others of His beautiful name in Africa. And if He’s called me then why am I letting all my fears and doubts become my only focus?
My literal, all time, favorite song EVER was part of the reason I decided to apply for the race. This was a couple months ago. I had come to the decision that while I wanted to go on the race, I’d wait a few years and see if I could make it fit. I blamed it on timing and but in reality, I was just scared beyond belief to take a such a big jump into my faith. I remember sitting in my car driving home from work when Matthew West’s “All In” came on my Spotify. I listened to it and with tears streaming down my face I realized I had been letting my doubts and fears consume me and influence my decision not to go on the race. The chorus of that song came and it says:
“I’m going all in
headfirst to the deep end.
I hear you calling,
this time the fear won’t win.”
I felt the Lord telling me to go for it. To trust it all to Him. To give Him all my fears and doubts and questions about the race and to just go for it. To do it. To look past everything that had/has been holding me back from truly diving into my relationship with Jesus. To go “all in”.
That day was about 2 months ago and now here we are. 4 months out from launch and I’m still scared and worried. But I’m giving it to Jesus. Because I don’t want to play it safe when it comes to my faith. Jesus loves me so incredibly much and he has called me to go out against all my fears and doubts and to step into my faith with Him. Like the song says “Safe’s just another word for regret.”
So if you’re having doubts about doing the race, or any big step of faith really, give it to Jesus. He is here to help. He’s called you to be in a relationship with Him. He’s here to help and to support you and be a comfort for you no matter what you’re going through or may be feeling. Go ALL IN!
