It’s the Saturday before we leave and I’m preaching at church on Sunday. To our surprise (not really…) I hadn’t tried or gotten a word from God, so naturally I went to the gym. As I was praying, I caught myself unashamedly singing loudly to “Just the way you are,” by Bruno Mars.
As the lyrics “because you’re amazinggg, just the way you are” flowed out of my mouth, I saw a picture of myself standing front row, at Jesus’s concert as He was singing these lyrics over me.
When I looked up I was face to face with the (wo)man in the mirror saying, I am not only amazing but perfect just the way that I am.
There’s this famous Christianese phrase that goes, “my identity is in God.” I believe this whole heartedly but over time the power and meaning of this phrase has gotten lost, watered down and altered to make us, in the American Christian culture, feel good about our physical insecurities.
Psalm 139:13-14 “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mothers womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.”
David isn’t talking about being fearfully and wonderfully beautiful in the external. When Jesus looks at us, He isn’t seeing our skin, our hair, our teeth, our clothes, our fat, and our muscles. HE IS LOOKING AT OUR HEARTS.
When I started my walk with Jesus, I was immediately brought into a community of powerful women of God. I found myself picking pieces of their strengths and trying to piece them on me.
I was trying to complete a 50-piece puzzle with a 1,000-piece puzzle set. Their pieces didn’t fit me. I got lost in the mix and I found myself in an identity crisis, asking God “Who am I?” as He’s saying “you’re Katie.” In that weak moment of confusion, I felt more myself than I had ever felt before.
We don’t expect just ourselves to be enough. We strive to put on this front when God just wants to USE US, for US.
My identity isn’t in what I look like, act like, or what I want to think I’m like. In my helplessness, weaknesses and utter dependence on God, I can start to see what I’m made for.
David was known as many things: King David, conqueror of Goliath, loyal shepherd, murder and adulterer. But most importantly we know him as, David a man after God’s own heart.
We can’t be content with any worldly title or identity. We need to be people after God’s own heart. Jesus was only after God’s heart. Jesus was only deeply connected with the Father. He only did as the Father said.
So why do we think we can control what our identity is? When Jesus, who was God, only looked to his Father God for his identity, strength and heart!!!
Our identity crisis comes when we aren’t intimately connected with the Father. He wants ALL OF US. He wants the mess, the weak, the scary, EVERYTHING. We have to let Him in to all that we are, so He can transform us into all that He is.
It’s humbling when we realize our heart is what carries our beauty.
Because our hearts yearn to be closer to God.
Because our hearts yearn to look like God.
This is a life long journey we’re on. We’ll be lost in valleys but found on mountaintops. We’ll be confused about who we are but confident in who we are made to be. We’ll be stripped of old but rebuilt to new. We’ll run away from God but return home with an eternal embrace.
Springing into month two, I’m singing along with Jesus and falling in love all over again. I’m letting God mold me into ME. Because I’m amazing, just the way I am.
BE AWESOME,
Katie B
