Going into this month, the Lord gave me the word ‘surrender’. In my heart I totally know this is what I need to do before I can fully feel secure in my relationship with the Lord but it’s frustrating not knowing how to get there. I have always struggled with wanting to be in control of everything in my life. I want to know what the end destination will look like and what’s the best way to get there, but I also struggle with making up my mind in fear that I will make the wrong decision. Letting go of this mindset has been really difficult. I feel like there is a wall blocking my growth and I’m not sure how to break it down. Realizing there is nothing I can do in my own strength is even more difficult. I know the healing will come directly from the Lord, but I feel like there is a list of things required for me to complete before I can receive what He has to offer. Surrender also seems like a really messy process so I am anxious to see what the Lords will is.
