I have come into month 5 of The World Race and I have realized what an odd time of the race it is. I think it has been the hardest point of the race thus far. There have been many changes that have taken place with team changes and teammates going home. It has been a time where I have thought a lot about my place on this trip – why I am here and what am I doing here. I have been on this trip long enough to know that it's uncomfortable and hard. I am five months into living out of a backpack with a few outfits and a couple pairs of shoes, in foreign places with foreign languages, cultures, foods, toilets, etc. Any and all privacy and quiet time has gone out the window. And my new definition of luxury is a hot shower (or even lukewarm) and a bed to sleep in. I have realized that I have given up more than I though I had.
At times, I long to be back home living a steady life set at my pace with my routine. I have friends and family back home going through struggles and celebrations that I am missing out on. I will miss being at my brother's wedding. I cannot be by a best friend's side as her mother (whom I have considered a second mother) battles breast cancer. I miss even the simplest of pleasures back home – like chilling at my favorite coffee shop, spending a Friday night with takeout and a good movie, wearing cute clothes and shoes, going for long walks, spending the evening at the gym, and enjoying familiar, home cooked foods. Things that I have missed from the get go, but that the excitement and newness of the trip overpowered. It is at this time that in missing life back home and facing the challenges of being overseas in the unfamiliar and uncomfortable that I have realized how much longer I have on this journey. I'm not quite halfway through yet…still 6 1/2 more months to go. On the more difficult days it's easy to dwell on all of this and wonder on earth I am doing.
I am thankful for the continual reminders though that I will never have this again. The reminders come in something as simple as driving past herds (or flocks? or packs?) of zebras in the middle of Kenya to something that has meaning far beyond what I will probably ever realize like spending my days loving on 45 African children whose reality is poverty, brokeness in the home, and HIV. God has me in an incredible season of being stripped while being poured into good things, things of God, and allowing that to overflow onto others. I can already see so much happening here in Kenya, and I can't wait to see and experience the next 7 countries. It may be uncomfortable and I may be at the point where I'm willing to kill for homemade chocolate chip cookies or a ginormous platter of sushi, but it is worth it.
At the end of the day, all I can say is that this is life. Life is crazy and beautiful and messy and and exciting, and at times so far from our definition of perfect. All I can do is trust that God has it all under control. He sees things that I don't and He is the master builder/creator, He is the greatest author. He holds every detail of my life in the palm of His hand. And He is taking me around the world to 11 different countries to completely change me and change each and every person I meet along the way.
