Another year has come to pass. I have spent the past few days thinking back on this past year and where it has brought me. 2011 was both a difficult and a beautiful year for me. It was a time of shedding and letting go of one life and taking steps into a new life. It was just a few days into 2011 that I took a deep breath and clicked the submit button on my World Race application. I didn't quite know what I was doing or where it would take me, but I knew that it was something worth pursuing. And thus began the craziest journey of healing my heart and restoring the "me" that somehow got lost in the middle of a mess.
I get to continue this journey into 2012 with more of Africa and then Southeast Asia. I am sooo excited for what is to come in SE Asia. I smile just at the thought of celebrating my birthday over a giant bowl of pho in Vietnam in this new year.
And come June I will be returning home to the states to start a whole new, fresh life. I will get to plant my feet in a new city and pursue a dream, a passion that I have been pushing aside and labeling as impractical for way too long. I love being able to dream about this new life, because I've been learning to dream without any limitations or fears. To just go with the desires that God has put into my heart and trust that He will open all the right doors and/or give me the fight to kick down any doors.
In all of this beautiful dreaming for 2012 I have realized that if I want to make the most out of this new year and new life, I've got to put something into it and get rid of the distractions and things that may be holding me back. So, I'm doing something very unlike me and making some New Year's Resolutions. I'm being even more unlike me and sharing these resolutions with others so that I can be held accountable. I can't even begin to describe how much my heart has been filled with joy having so many people cheering me on in this life. It is wonderful knowing that I am not alone in any of this. And so I know that the same people who have been cheering me on during this past year, will be right there to encourage me in this new year.
Resolution #1: Ditch the comforts. It is amazing how much you want to cling to anything and everything that is somewhat familiar and comfortable in a foreign, third world country. My like for peanut butter turned into an obsession since beginning this trip because it is a familiar thing that I have been able to find in every country so far. Same with chocolate bars and soda. I've realized that on those really tough days I often cling to a diet coke rather than to God. Or I zone out of reality with pinterest. So the things that I seek for comfort are getting the boot.
Resolution #2: Isaiah 43:18. My grandma wrote this verse in the front of the Bible she gave me right before leaving on this trip. Remember not the former things. I hope to never forget what it was like to go through such a hardship and experience so much of God's love and faithfulness. It is good to remember where we've come from. There are those times though when memories spring up and it is easy to dwell on those memories – like remembering moments that were so good and then wondering why they had to get so trampled. I don't want thoughts like that to get in the way of the new thing that God is doing in me.
Resolution #3: Replace grumbling with thanksgiving. Things get hard on this trip. A typical day brings about plenty of opportunities for grumbling, like being outside (or worse in a crowded non-air conditioned room), in the almost unbearable heat, 2 hours after you were supposed to have lunch, dealing with another miscommunication due to a language barrier. I was hit with Philippians 2:14-16 where it says to do everything without grumbling…and then you will shine among them like stars in the sky. There is always something to give thanks for, and I'd rather fix my eyes on that because it is that spirit of thankfulness that will shine.
Resolution #4: Try new and wild things. In the upcoming months I know I will have plenty of opportunities for this. Plans are in the works for rafting the Nile in Uganda, talk of eating bugs in Thailand is spreading, and just down the road is a course for learning to ride a motorcycle. Whatever fun things pop up along the way, I want to dive right in!
Resolution #5: Bring my change back home. So much has happened while I have been on this great adventure and it has completely changed me. Something that God has been reminding me throughout the race is that the things I am doing can and need to be done back home too. I don't need to be in a distant, third world country to love on orphans. I don't want to return home and get surrounded by the many comforts and luxuries and freedoms that home has to offer, and lose the change that took place in me.
Happy New Year to all! I hope it's a year filled with many blessings!
