I thought that I had seen actual poverty before last Monday. I thought that I had felt real compassion and felt true brokenness for someone. But I hadn’t yet. My team and I moved to Battambang, Cambodia last Saturday to start our last ministry. We were told that we’d be working with Crossing Cambodia and that they work with about 23 street kids, help them get ready for school by bathing them and doing their hair, feed them, and teach them English, which we were pretty thrilled about. We were also told that ministry days would be Monday – Friday from 5:30am to 4pm. That part I wasn’t thrilled about. But we all went into our first day of ministry, last Monday, with open hearts and arms. We had no idea of the heartbreaking realities that awaited us.
Please note that for the safety of the kids and the ministry, I cannot share too much personal information about the kids and their situations. So some details have been changed as a precaution.
We pulled up to the Crossing Cambodia center at 5:30am and were told that we had to pick the kids up from where they lived at 6 so we could get them ready for school. Only a couple of us are able to pick them up at a time, so we have to take turns. When I went, we pulled up to an empty square in the town and walked up to a small shelter made out of tarps. 2 girls lived there and they were still sleeping when we walked up. We woke them up and got them in the truck. The older girl, we’ll call her Sun, immediately laid her head in my lap and went back to sleep. We kept driving to pick up more kids. We pulled up to a dumping site by the railroad tracks and all I saw was piles and piles of trash, I couldn’t help but think, “Surely no one lives here”. Then, I watched as 3 boys all under the age of 7 walked out of little tarp shelters amidst all of the trash. With sleepy eyes, they stumbled into the truck and we drove to pick up the rest of the kids.
We got back to the center, Sun, the 3 boys from the dumping site, and another boy, all laid down in the chairs or on the floor and went back to sleep. We noticed that the rest of the kids were being bathed, eating, and getting ready for school while the other 5 kids weren’t. When we asked why that was they said that the 3 little boys are preschool age so they stay home during the day, but Sun and the other boy can’t go to school in the mornings because they’re too tired. We found out later that they’re so exhausted because they are up all night begging for food and money, something that their parents usually force them to do.
Later I sat on the couch next to Sun, and accidentally woke her up. But, when she looked up and saw me she just took my arms and wrapped them around her, pulled herself closer to me, and went back to sleep immediately. My host saw me holding her and went on to tell me about her story. I’m not able to give details, but Sun lives in a very unhealthy and unsafe environment. My heart broke as I could feel her desperate need for love and touch as she grasped on to me. My stomach physically hurt as I thought about what the night before looked like for her and how a child could be this tired. I have never felt so broken for someone and wanted to change their situation for them so badly.
I don’t think all of the kids have it as hard as Sun does, but all 23 of them are still street kids and spend their nights begging and sleeping in the streets. They’re dirty, sick, and covered in lice. But they all crave love, attention, and for someone to hug them and hold them. So, that’s what I do despite all of the risks. Their heads full of lice don’t stop me from playing with their hair. Their dirty skin and clothes doesn’t stop me from letting them crawl all over me like a jungle gym. One boy in particular loves the bottom of his feet scratched, I don’t understand why, but even though their filthy, black from all of the dirt, and just feet in general which I hate, I do it anyway.
This ministry and these kids have taught me what the physicality of the gospel looks like. I don’t think I ever understood it until now. But for the next two months of my life, sharing the gospel looks like hugging and loving on dirty kids. Because that’s their current need. They don’t need me standing in front of them teaching them bible songs or shouting out bible stories at them. Those things are great. But that’s not what they need right now. Our job while we’re here is to help them know that they’re acknowledged and loved by giving them the type of love they desire, which in this case happens to be tons of physical touch.
Our job is to show them that we’re not above them in any way, so at meal times, we eat what they eat. Too often, missionaries try to show love by stepping into the situation of the ones they’re ministering to, but they hold a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on white bread as the rest of them eat tortillas, pap, or rice. Which immediately puts a separation between the them. If you truly want to minister to someone and show Christ, you have to humble yourself in every aspect, even the physical. So when all of the kids are eating bread and weird fuzzy meat for breakfast and all I want to do is gag thinking about it, I’ll eat it anyway. That’s the physicality of the gospel.
Dropping the kids back off at home is the worst part of my day. I watch as they walk past their parents who don’t even acknowledge that their home. I know that they’ll be ignored and forced to stay up all night and beg. I know that where they sleep is unhealthy and unsafe. My heart breaks more for them everyday. But, it’s out of that true brokenness that I’m able to love them like Christ. My brokenness allows me run to the Lord and it pushes me into further intimacy with Him, and that overflows into my love for these kids.
This ministry is draining, the days are long, and Southeast Asia is literally like an oven on the sun. But every tired, sweaty moment is worth it. What I’m doing here is so tangible and it has effects that will last even after we’re gone. God has already stirred something in me only after a week, so I know He will greatly use the next 7 weeks!
Please be in prayer for me and my team (Brielle, Abby, Miriam, and Leigh Anne), as we love on these kids. Pray that we would stay healthy and filled up so we can finish the race strong! And on that note.. only 7 more weeks left of the race!!!! Our final debrief will be in Thailand on the last week of April. On May 2nd we fly home to the states!!!!! After that, I’ll be spending a few days in LA before flying home May 5th! Ahhhh it’s getting real!! Thanks so much for reading, and your prayers and support! Much love.
