I’m reading a book by Donald Miller called Scary Close. He talks about a time when he was in an adult “therapy camp” type place to work on his relationship issues. While he was involved in this program, he said the hardest rule to follow was that no one there could tell what they did for a living. He says, “It was torture to not tell people what I did. I never realized how much I’d used my job as a social crutch until the crutch was taken away.”
Well, I’m here officially in MONTH ONE of the World Race. I have been dreaming and planning for this moment for months now. So many expectations have been built, and I have been longing for all of the amazing ministry I would be involved in. My BIGGEST excitement was to work with kids – in schools, in orphanages, anywhere. One of my biggest joys in life is working with children and seeing the love and laughter that only they can bring.
For the past six years, I have been involved in education: Four years studying education at college, one year teaching in Ethiopia, and another year working on a masters in education. I believe that not everyone has the gift to teach and to teach well, and feel I have been given that gift. I love education fiercely, but is education all I know? Do I use education as a mask, when I could be used in other ways?
This week, me and 3 others on my squad were asked to spend the day teaching in a local school here in Costa Rica. Instantly, I felt myself getting so excited. “Yes,” I thought, “this is why I’m meant to be here.” I could barely sleep the night before, because this was my chance to make a difference. I could feel it. I was prepared to step on to the school grounds, grab the attention of all the kids, and see those light bulbs turn on (dramatic, I know).
One of the teachers, who is also a woman from the church we have been connected with, came to pick the 3 of us up at our compound (I will call this woman Michelle). She drove us to the school, which was a little bit farther outside of the city. We were told we would be teaching 6 classes, all 80 minutes each. We did not prepare as well as we should have, and decided on the spot who would be teaching in the first class. It was awkward. It was unplanned. We could not speak Spanish so the language barrier immediately was hard. One of the girls with us could speak Spanish, so she translated for us. However, because we were unorganized, it was just exhausting for everyone.
Then, at the end of the LONG day, my teammate who could speak Spanish started engaging some of the kids in conversation as they played outside. It was beautiful to watch her asking the kids about their families and home lives. The only problem was that I was jealous. I was jealous that the things I’m most passionate about and the calling that has been put on my life wasn’t able to be used in this moment. I couldn’t ask any of the kids where they were from or ask what life was like for their parents because they couldn’t understand me and I couldn’t understand them. It was like everything I have been studying and everything I’ve ever known was stripped away in one day.
But then I realized that I truly have placed my identity in education and teaching. When those things are gone, who am I? Who is Katie Sadowski without children and education and teaching? That’s a good question, and I feel like that’s a question I will be discovering throughout this next year.
At the end of the day, Michelle who brought us to the school told us a little bit about her life. She has been teaching for the past 10 years. She LOVES it and is good at it. But recently, she has been seeking the Lord for what her purpose is. She said she never really thought about it like that before. She feels like God has given her the ability to teach and has given her teaching experience for a higher calling.
Well, earlier in the week she told us she was sitting in her friend’s hair salon. While she was there, she heard a young woman bashing the church. The woman was saying, “The church is always complaining about prostitutes doing this, and prostitutes doing that…” So Michelle asked the young woman, “Will you tell me, are you a prostitute?” The woman responded with a yes. Michelle was then able to tell her that the devil wants her to stay as far away as possible from the church and will continue to make her feel ashamed and embarrassed. Michelle invited her to church, BUT the thought came to her mind to start a small group for women just like this. What if she started a small group in her own home for women in the city. She could bring the church right into her own home. She felt though a little nervous and inadequate and almost like she wouldn’t have all the answers that these woman may need. We were able to talk with Michelle and encourage her to step into this new calling. She can impact SO MANY PEOPLE for the kingdom of God, and none of us will ever have any of the answers. For me, it didn’t matter how frustrating our day was, how messy our lesson plans turned out to be – BECAUSE this is what the World Race is all about. We were able to encourage someone and help to plant a small seed that will continue to grow and grow long after we are gone. AMAZING.
So the next day, we were working in our compound, and our leader started dividing us up for different jobs. They asked for someone to make a door, and I volunteered. Now, I have never touched a saw in my life. I hardly ever use hammers or screwdrivers, but I decided that from now on I want to start trying new things. So, Andrew & I worked together to literally build a door for the outside bathroom at the compound (although Andrew did the majority of the work lol). BUT STILL, it felt good doing something that I normally never would have volunteered for. So that’s what I’m learning this month. I don’t want to hide behind teaching. I want to try new things, and be called out of my comfort zone. I want to ENJOY construction, preach with confidence, evangelize and talk with strangers about Jesus, etc. I think there’s power in getting out of our normal routine, tearing down the costumes we are used to wearing, and letting JESUS become our identity.
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My word for this month has been “small seeds.” We have been working with a program called “Ocean’s Edge.” We are staying on their compound, and are actually in a room that was built by the last World Race team. Our daily host is Carli, who was actually on the World Race herself, and moved to Costa Rica afterwards to work as a full time missionary. She has been the biggest blessing in the world, and I’m already dreaded the end of the month when we have to tell her goodbye. We have been doing kids ministry at the church, teaching lessons in schools, working with the neighborhood kids on Saturdays for kids club, homeless ministry, etc. A few of us have also been doing administration work for the organization to help them send documents to other churches. There is so much potential for growth, and we are able to help with that. Tomorrow, they are actually planning a business meeting for a business school they are starting as another local ministry. We are helping plan and organize the event. We are also cooking and serving a dinner for all the volunteers at the church. Another day this month, we are hosting a kids camp for all the kids in the neighborhood. This is HUGE because these kids can take home to their parents what they learn at the camp. I’m super excited for this:) A majority of our work though so far has been doing construction, organization, and cleaning for the Ocean’s Edge ministry. We get this idea of what “ministry” looks like in our heads, but those expectations have to be torn down. In reality, cleaning the property of a ministry will be more of a blessing than we will ever know. We are here for a month, and then leave. These people have committed their lives to this ministry, and any small part that we can play is important.
Two of my top favorite moments so far: (1) Prayer Walks: The team here knows almost everyone in the community. Jaco, the city, is known for prostitution, drugs, and alcohol, but this atmosphere needs to be shifted. The team prays against this, and specifically for the people who reside here and their businesses. We went on a prayer walk, and the lady we were with could tell us who owned what business, who drove what car, etc. It was amazing. She not only knew who worked where, but she also knew what battles and insecurities they were each facing. WOW, this blew me away because this is something that we can be doing at home. I started thinking, “Why don’t I know who owns the shop right down from my house?” They literally knock on doors to get to know people, and they form relationships with people. They don’t slam religion down their throats, but they just simply get to know them. Through these relationships, people start to recognize Christ in them, and then opportunities to share the gospel are presented. It was amazing, and it’s something I want to bring with me when I get back to the states. I want to be truly intentional to get to know the people in my city. (2) Hiking Up A Mountain: So yesterday, we decided to go hiking. We had rescheduled 3 times because of the rain. This time, we didn’t care if it was sunny or rainy, we just wanted to hike. Of course, half way up the mountain, it starts to DOWN POUR. We kept going anyway and got absolutely drenched. When we got to the top, we could overlook the city. In the pouring rain, we all just started singing and shouting prayers to God and asking him to break the chains off of the city. We prayed for that, and also that he would break the chains off of our own lives. It was an amazing moment, and almost immediately after our prayer, the sun came out.
Just some small updates for you, even though I know it’s all over the place. Feel free to message me or email me! I would love to share with you some more stories and details:) Definitely missing home, but I know that this city was made for so much more than prostitution, lust, alcohol, and drugs. I hope we can play even the smallest part or plant a small seed into someone who will continue to make a change here and reclaim the atmosphere.
