seek and you will find.
This month, those words have never been more true. After finding out that we would be working with special needs this month, I freaked out a little bit inside. I had never done anything like that, nor had a longing to do so. I was scared that I would lose patience, lose sanity, and just had a really dumb pity party for myself. I went into this month specifically seeking and praying for Gods heart and eyes as I entered into an environment so new to me.
…. and I found them, oh how I found them.
Can I say, that this has been by far one of the most amazing months in regards to God’s love, peace, patience and grace. The first day we got to Hands of Hope daycare here in Cambodia, I met this beautiful 14 year old girl with cerebral palsy named Narin.
She instantly stole my heart and gave me the most joy I’ve had in a very long time. The kind of joy that is unexpected, that is free, and that is purely Jesus Christ. She looked at me and I saw the Father. I saw love, joy, peace and beauty. I have never felt so much love for a single person than how I feel about Narin. I honestly feel like in some crazy world she is my child, and imagine that this might be what a mother feels. A love that is freely given with expecting nothing in return. A love where you would do anything for the person because you just would and can’t explain why. A love like Jesus’. If I had things my way, I would take her home with me and raise her in America with the most joy in the world to do so.
Some of you might think that this is all so crazy, and so do I some days. Jesus has revealed so much of his heart to me while being here. He placed me here not to love 25 kids, but to show one child the love of the Father that is fervent and deserved. Granted, I love all of the children and they bring me so much joy, but He has given me a special heart for this young girl. I wish and pray with all my being that she would be able to speak clearly, properly use her muscles, and have an insane miracle over her body. I proclaim this in Jesus’ name.
Narin is so, so smart and it breaks my heart to see her unable to do anything about what is happening in her body. Her mind is functioning, but her body does not understand. There are abnormal developments in parts of her brain that control movement, speech and posture. As easy as it would be to question why people are born this way and suffer the way they do, God has really allowed me to see it in a different way this month. I have questioned what the point of their life is if people suffer like this, or when they can’t do anything on their own. The Lord has shown me firsthand this month, how these children are such sweet blessings to me. They have more joy than anyone I know. They trust us with so much, because they need to. They show me Jesus on a daily by the way he has given me patience, love and grace towards them like I’ve never had before. I pray that they are just as a blessing to the people they have at home.
I feel like my heart has been transformed in these short two weeks and it will never be the same. I feel the Lord calling me to many things that officiate with special needs. I feel that I can’t comprehend the plans he has for my life, but am ready for whatever He has!
Please be praying for these kids and that God would heal them and that they would be able to proclaim His mighty name! Pray that they would be loved the way they deserve and that they would be blessings to everyone they come in contact with.
xo
Katie
