you know you’re a July 2008 F-Squad World Racer when…
You learn that what you thought was the sounds of pagan animal sacrifice in the night was actually a baby cow being separated from its mother.
You move into a relatively nice hotel (for the Race) and soon find out there’s prostitution going on in the first floor every night of the week.
While eating in a restaurant, if people leave food untouched on their table, you might steal it to supplement your own meal (such a waste!)
You think you’re going to an African summer, but find out you’re going to an English winter instead–and you’re packed and ready to go in three hours.
…Hence, you can make an outfit for the London winter city streets composed of clothes you had ready for an African summer. (Granted, you don’t blend in very well.)
You’ve made “eesh!” , “CANCEL!” , “Tell it again!” or “Nee-Nu!” a part of your vocabulary.
There are ants in your peanut butter or other “sealed” food items.
The word “Kwacha” makes you cringe and brings up horrible memories.
You miss Scarlet, too!
You’ve had your hair cut or dyed by a creepy, tall redhead who calls herself “Bon-Kwi-Kwi.”
You’ve been sprayed with funky perfume by a small Romanian boy the day after Easter.
You know who to call if you need impersonators for these characters: (1) a baby fawn, (2) Beth Moore, (3) a Thai sarong seller, or (4) a certain German man we met along the way.
You’ve said to a squadmate: “I’ll pay you back in doxy.”
You’re an aunt or uncle to the first Race-conceived baby! Congrats to Josh & Tara Bruce!
You have different positions for different styles of squatty potties (let alone the fact that you know there ARE several different types of squatties, depending on the country!)
You wash yourself with baby wipes and call yourself clean.
You’re not sure if your head is itchy because of (1) lice or (2) dry scalp due to not being able to properly wash it for the past few weeks.
On travel days, you use your plastic travel spork for peanut butter, then lick it and call it clean.
Forms of transportation for the year have included: tractor, horse-drawn cart, the back of a friend’s truck or motorcycle, tuk-tuks of several varieties, many multi-colored buses and of course planes, trains and automobiles.
You’ve had to pantomime the question, “Where is the toilet?”
Ladies: you could easily find a “husband” on any continent if only you are willing to say yes, because you’ve been proposed to several times.
You know there are different techniques required for bucket showering with cold water (Central America/Asia/Africa) or hot water (Eastern Europe).
You have learned how to laugh at the ridiculous amount of info that just gets LOST IN TRANSLATION.
You’re no longer surprised when I (Katie) announce, “You guys, I have an idea for a video…”
You’re a member of the only Race squad so far to not lose a single member or change a single team– I heart F-Squad!
You see an insect/hair/dirt in your food and keep right on eating, only discarding said object if it’s of a certain size.
You have a strange rash, itch, spot or bite on your skin at any given moment.
You put on a good coating of deodorant and bug spray before going to bed.
You ask your teammate what city/country you’re in.
You can say “hello” and “thank you” in 12+ different languages.
In your purse/backpack you can find a water bottle, a Bible, a camera, a headlamp, toilet paper and your passport.
You keep finding coins from other continents in your purse/wallet/backpack.
A light travel day is a ten-hour bus ride.
You splurge to buy yourself a $5 meal.
You can put on a children’s “program” with less than five minutes’ warning.
Your squadmates recognize every article of clothing you own, and everyone notices when you get something new or borrow someone else’s clothes.
You handwash your clothes in brownish water and call them clean.
It’s perfectly normal for a mealtime conversation to be about the non-regularity of your bowel movements.
You try to bargain…for EVERYTHING.
You know that roosters don’t crow only at break of dawn, rather they crow 24 hours a day.
You’ve ridden more transportation methods than you ever imagined.
You’ve met a live animal in the morning and eaten its meat later that day, especially chicken, goat or lamb.
Other than your tent, you can’t remember the last time you had a room to yourself.
A bathroom stop means pulling the bus/truck over and going in the bush on the side of the road.
You’re accustomed to singing, sharing your testimony or even preaching if asked to do so with zero prep time.
