It’s all I know anymore…
Paul wrote in Galatians, “May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.”
I have nothing to boast of anymore; nothing to offer anymore; no answers anymore; nothing but the the love and sacrifice of my Saviour. It’s all I know anymore…His love surpasses all, even the suffering of the people of Swaziland. And though they’re suffering, their names are written upon the heart of God.
Swaziland is wrecking my heart. It’s totaled; there’s too much need and pain here to be able to walk away unscathed.
During the day when I’m out doing ministry (playing with kids, delivering food, visiting families, shooting photos and videos) somehow I’m OK–through the doing, God keeps me going, keeps me focused….But when I’m back at the campsite, in the evenings or the mornings, I feel constantly on the verge of tears, seemingly incapable of real thought…capable only of action and reaction to whatever’s going on around me.
Out in Nsoko among the orphans and the go-go’s, all I can offer anymore is to lift my camera and press the shutter or hit record. I haven’t the words to capture their pain or the depth of their eyes. My camera and lack of training doesn’t capture it, either, but it’s my only weapon to battle alongside them.
What am I to do in the face of hunger, hopelessness, disease, malnutrition, poverty, unquenched thirst, childhood innocence robbed?
All I know anymore is the name of Jesus, and I cling to a faith of desperation on behalf of the suffering. I walk along smiling and laughing with the kids, playing hand-slap games and belly-poking games, but in my soul I’m crying out to the Lord, asking for His mercy on this community, for his provision for their basic needs, his healing for their diseases–including HIV.
At moments, I just wish Jesus would come back in all His Kingly splendor to end the suffering and sighing of the people.
I cannot ignore it anymore. I’ve held its children in my arms, whispering prayers over them, telling them in a language they don’t know that Jesus loves them.
Will anyone hear and see the pain of these suffering as I share this experience? Will their hearts be stirred with emotion, or even better, stirred to action? Will this photo or that video be enough to communicate that something must be done NOW, there’s a world desperately dying, and Christ and His people on earth are the ones responsible for reaching them?
Whatever happens…all I know anymore is the name of Jesus Christ. All I know anymore is His great love for the world…and for the children of Swaziland.
“May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.”
