Dear readers,
As promised, here is my blog containing further vulnerability.
One of my biggest struggles on the Race has been being a thinker in a sea of feelers. If you don’t know what that sentence means, google Myers-Briggs. It’s a well-known personality test. In the absolute simplest of terms, a thinker is someone who makes decisions based off of logic, while a feeler is someone who makes decisions based off of emotions. Each has its pros and cons. I am a thinker and also someone who doesn’t experience a lot of emotion generally. So when I’m in worship, and everyone else seems to be really connecting with God and experiencing Him, and I feel nothing, I wonder if something is wrong with me. And whenever I don’t feel a crazy passion in my heart for God, I feel like I don’t really love God, even though I want to.
As you may have picked up on, a serious problem here is comparison. It’s when I compare myself to other Christians that I begin to feel like I’m failing. (That is obviously a problem, but I already addressed it in an earlier blog, so onto a new thought.) But every once in a while, someone makes a comment that affirms me as a thinker and the positives of the way God has made me, and that helps a lot.
Now, since my emotions are so utterly undependable, I did some thinking about what my relationship with God should depend upon, and I have some thoughts, though obviously not exhaustive.
1 – The belief that everything recorded in the Scriptures is true.
2 – That I will lay down my life daily
A – In response to the One for whom and through whom all things exist, and who laid down his life for me.
B – For the benefit of others
C – And for my own benefit (sanctification and inheriting the promises)
If I can return to these truths whenever I feel unmotivated to live for God, my thinker self will be motivated to make the right choice 😀
And now, I’ll close with a few verses that are applicable:
Colossians 1:16 – “For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him.”
Luke 9:23 – “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me.”
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 – “Your life is not your own. You were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your body.”
I hope something in this post resonated with you. Feel free to share any thoughts of your own!
Love,
Katie
