Ahh, the honeymoon phase. What a wonderful phase that was. Colors appeared more vibrant, nature was full and lush, birds sang in harmony. When He sent me a message I couldn’t stop smiling; I couldn’t get Him off of my mind! I walked with a new confidence; my feet felt light, my face was glowing. I was able to see beauty in everything. Life had a whole new meaning and perspective. I was fresh in love with my Savior.
And then…….
The newness faded away.
There were no more thrills or fuzzy feelings. He wouldn’t return my calls. It seemed like I went months without hearing from Him. I don’t know what I did… Everything about our relationship changed. The excitement and ease now became such endless work. And on top of that, I felt bad about myself the more I tried to prove myself to Him.
The honeymoon was over just as quickly as it began.
Foolishly, I tried to win Him back by hanging out with legalism, condemnation, and subjectivism. At first I really enjoyed their company, but the more I hung out with them the more I realized they brought out the worst in me. I couldn’t be myself anymore; they always made me feel like I was doing something wrong. The freedom I found in Jesus I no longer felt when they were in my life. They made me feel suffocated and contained. Legalism, condemnation, and subjectivism controlled my every move and decision.
The good news is I have the power to walk away from things that don’t benefit my life. I ended my relationship with them a few days ago.
Children of Christ, let me warn you about getting involved with these types of “people”.
Legalism will base your relationship with God on your performance. For a long time legalism made me believe that I couldn’t listen to certain types of music, I couldn’t enjoy socializing with my friends, I was looked down upon if God wasn’t always my central focal point, and I had to constantly watch and be aware of my every move. C.J. Mahaney defines legalism as “seeking to achieve forgiveness from God and acceptance by God through obedience to God.” Thomas Schreiner writes that “legalism has its origin in self-worship. If people are justified through their obedience to the law, then they merit praise, honor, and glory. Legalism, in other words, means the glory goes to the people rather than God.”
Condemnation will make you focus more on your sin than God’s grace. In the time I spent with condemnation I was reminded every day of the sins I committed years ago. I swore to him that I’ve grown into a completely different person, but he wouldn’t allow me to break free of that guilt. Even though I wasn’t going anywhere, I was still carrying three hundred pounds of luggage with me!
Subjectivism will make you base your view of God on your changing feelings and emotions. When legalism influenced me to look down on myself I believed my friends, family, and God would look down on me, too. My head was full of noise. Preacher David Martyn Lloyd-Jones asked, “Have you realized that most of your unhappiness in life is due to the fact that you are listening to yourself instead of talking to yourself?”
“Far too often we choose to passively listen to ourselves. We sit back and let our view of God and life be shaped by our constantly shifting feelings about our ever-changing circumstances. Life is busy. Often hard. Full of distractions. And before a morning cup of coffee, our passive listening can take us on a roller-coaster ride as we review a hundred different topics and experience a dozen varied emotions.” I fell in love with the point Mahaney makes when he wrote, “We are faced with two simple choices. We can either listen to ourselves and our constantly changing feelings about our circumstances, or we can talk to ourselves about the unchanging truth of who God is and what He’s accomplished for us at the cross.”
So, my advice to you– ditch some of your old friends and make a few new ones. Community is VITAL. If you’re not hanging with the right crowd, chances are you’re going to be easily thrown off course and be sidetracked from receiving the true love and grace of our Father.
Even though my honeymoon phase with the Lord has ended, the relationship is still lasting. And now I am able to clearly see what a perfect gentlemen He is. He never fails to pick me up when I fall, He loves me through my flaws, and He carries me when I’m weak. I don’t know anyone else who will ever make me feel so loved.
So long legalism, condemnation, and subjectivism! You’re not discouraging me anymore.
