So we made it to Chinandega, Nicaragua and let me tell you, we’re definitely not in Costa Rica anymore. The area we’re in is very rural but I can see myself quickly falling in love with the beautiful landscape, piercing heat, and wonderful people that I get to be around every day. It’s all squad month so my 45 squadmates, 3 squad leaders, squad mentor, and myself are living on a compound in the middle of rural Chinandega. It. Is. Awesome.
Yesterday we started ministry and we’re getting to do a lot of different stuff. We’re going door to door in small villages, helping in a medical clinic, playing with children at neighborhood park-type areas, and praying for/loving on the sick and addicted. As I was walking on a small dirt road I looked around and thought now THIS is what the Race is.
But I was wrong.
People talk about “not always seeing the fruits of your labor” but as an American I’m hardwired for results. I want to see the end product of whatever I put work in to and I want to see it immediately. That’s not how it is when you’re working under God’s plan. In fact, sometimes you never see the fruit at all, someone else does.
That’s what happened yesterday. I went from expecting to be the harvester to having to swallow the reality of being the planter. As I’m sure you know, not every seed you plant produces fruit. Not every seed grows in to anything at all.
As we walked around I met a man named Luis. He lived with his mother, Manuela, and neither of them have a relationship with Jesus. Luis is trying to save money to go to Costa Rica because there are more job opportunities there. He says he doesn’t want to accept Christ just yet because he still has some work to do in his own life. I spent a lot of time studying his eyes as he talked. His eyes were tired and sad. His mother shared with us that when Luis was only 5 months old he died in the house for three hours. As she was trying to figure out what her next steps were, a woman from the church came and prayed over Luis until he was revived. As Manuela shared this testimony, I watched Luis’s face. You could tell he’d heard this story before. He was a literal miracle from heaven yet he still felt he needed to “prepare” for Jesus. My heart broke for him.
I relate a lot to Luis. When I was in high school and early college I really struggled with feeling like I wasn’t ready to be in the presence of Jesus. I needed to get rid of this one sin in my life, I needed to stop hanging out with these people, I needed to break those bad habits. Then and only then will I be worthy to walk in to church. Then and only then will I be worthy of the love of Jesus.
But you know what, that’s a load of crap. Those are lies straight from the mouth of the enemy. I’ll tell you the same thing I told Luis, the same thing I’ve spent many years telling myself. God loves you for who you are. He loves you where you’re at. He loved you in your mother’s womb, He loves you in your sin, and He loves you when you ask for forgiveness. His love is not conditional and there is nothing we can do to earn His love. You don’t have to be enough, that’s why Christ died. Not so that we’d have to reach some goal of holiness before coming to Him but so that we could be set free.
Did Luis accept Christ yesterday? No, he’s still not ready. But I know there was a seed planted, I could see it in a glimmer of hope in his eyes. I know that seed was watered when Daniel, Heather, and Hunter went back to talk to him again a little while later. I may not get to see the day that Luis steps in to freedom, but my heart is overjoyed that there’s even that possibility.
Yesterday I learned to accept the role as planter. It’s not always fun and it’s definitely not always easy but it’s necessary. It’s vital. If no one plants the seed, how will we ever get fruit?
Please pray for Luis, his mother, and the people of Chinandega. They all really need it.
Love always,
Katie
Support raising update: I have 18 days until my next deadline of $13,000. Currently, I am at $11,798 and I need your help! If each day about $60 is donated I will meet the goal and be able to stay on the Race. If you feel led please click on the “donate” box above to give your gift. God’s not done here yet!
Also, I’ll only have wifi about once a week so if you need me PLEASE shoot me an email at the address below. I’m still trying to figure out access to my primary account. Thanks fam!
