This month my team is in Dobromirka, Bulgaria. It took a drive into Boston, a 5 hour bus ride to NYC, an overnight flight to Berlin, another flight to Sofia, and then finally another 3 hour drive from the airport in the capital city to this sunny village to get me here. But here I did get, just in time for dinner Friday evening, jet lagged and wearing the same clothes I’d been in since Wednesday. I went to bed pretty early that night but hit the ground running the next day.
This month we’re partnering with a ministry called Mission Possible. MP does a lot to strengthen and build the church in Eastern Europe. We are lodging at a center where they host camps, confernences, church retreats, and more. My first weekend here there was a church group staying. My team’s job is to be a blessing to the couple who run the center, Nasko and Didi, through housekeeping. Helping prepare meals, cleaning up afterwards, doing laundry, and other chores.
I couldn’t believe how much this church group loved and appreciated us! They bought us gifts and strived to speak to us in English while we did the same in broken Bulgarian. One of the younger women invited us to participate in their church service and wondered if one of us would be willing to share her testimony. Everyone was quiet. I wanted to say yes because I was itching to do more after being on hold in the States for a week. I hesitated though, thinking someone else probably has a better story. But as soon as I thought that I knew I had to volunteer. I’ve already battled with the lie that because I grew up in a Christian home my testimony is second rate. The truth is that God wrote my story, so that makes is good, and to keep silent about it is to miss an opportunity to give the glory to Him for rescuing me from the pit in a unique way. No one is born perfect, so whether you were saved at age 45 or 4 you have a story to tell about struggle with sin and God’s power and victory in your life. So, I volunteered as tribute. Some of the girls on my team were really grateful I stepped up. I felt brave, a little nervous, but definitely excited. Until I talked with my translator.
She spoke better English than the rest of her friends but not perfect. She was pretty nervous herself and asked if we could go through my story together beforehand so she could be more comfortable. That only made me more uncomfortable though. She didn’t understand a lot of what I was saying, so again and again I had to think of simpler and more basic ways of expressing myself. The finally product barely sounded like a testimony, let alone my own. I was discouraged.
My sweet teammate Amber sat down with me and helped me turn my ramblings into a concise, but still powerful, story. I went to my translator again and it went a little better. I was still anxious though. I realized that if my English speaking teammates weren’t going to be listening it wouldn’t bother me so much. Because, ultimately it was out of my control what Maria was going to say. But I really didn’t like that I was going to have to talk about something so personal with such restrictions on me. I wanted to make it sound good! I wanted to prove that just because I was never a drug dealer or a prostitute didn’t mean that God didn’t do something powerful and glorious in my life.
In the end I had to let that go. I called it pride and I asked God to do whatever He wanted to do. The church service was awesome. I loved listening to everyone praising God in words I couldn’t understand but with voices and express ions and a spirit that I totally understood. When it was my turn to get up, it was a little awkward. There were a few points where Maria just stared at me after I finished my sentence, not sure how to translate. I didn’t feel inspirational or particularly pleased with my performance. But the truth still stands. He has done great things in my life, and all the glory goes to Him, however He wants in to play out. I am so thankful for the experience of being stretched a little, the support I received from my team, and the reminder that He wants to use my story and I can’t let anything keep me silent.
