Dang.
The thing is, if I was missing Christmas with my loved ones for the sake of the experiences I’m having, it wouldn’t really be worth it. Or at least it’s be hard to remind myself that when I’m really hurting for home. It wouldn’t even really make me feel better to say that I’m sacrificing for the Nepali people, and all the other people all around the world that I’m trying to help. Sometimes I can see how I’m helping, but other times I question if they would have rather I just sent money. It’s not about me, and it’s not really about them.
The only worthwhile reason to leave home and choose discomfort and abandonment is simple.
Because that’s what Jesus did.
It’s actually a perfect way to celebrate Christmas! This holiday is about the Son of God leaving comfort and perfect joy to enter a world that was infected with sin. This world is cold and dark and lonely because our sin separates us from God- life, light, and love.
I miss western style toilets. Reliable power, not to mention wifi. Ahh, washing machines… AND dryers! Taco Bell and Dunkin Donuts and pizza. I wear the same wrinkly, hand washes clothes again and again while my wardrobe of cute clothes (which I didn’t know how much I loved until I had to live without them) sits in boxes in my parents’ basement. I love my team, but I miss my sisters! We’re involved in ministries that I could never be a part of if I hadn’t come on the Race, but my heart is still heavy for the ministries I left at home- the teens I worked with at youth group and the little ones I poured into at the preschool.
But I’m glad for this experience. It hit me this month that in a small way I understand the heart of God and the suffering of Jesus better now. I left my home. To bring the gospel to people who need to hear it. I also came to pray for them, feed them, listen to them, help them. Some of them are truly grateful, and at times I’m able see the fruit of my labors. Other times it’s just hard.
So it was with Jesus. Except times a million of course. But you get it! Christmas is a good time to be all together, and next year you can be sure to find me decorating the family tree and eating pumpkin pie in my parents’ living room, dressed in one of those cute dresses I had to leave behind. I’m with you there! But this year in celebrating in an almost more appropriate way.
That song never seemed sadder. This is the first time in my life when I can honestly sing along “I’ll be home for Christmas… if only in my dreams.”
Of course I knew this was coming. I entered into this thing fully aware that I would be giving up a holiday season with friends, family, and familiar things. Before I left for the Race last spring I remember my friend Shannon asking “Wait, are you going to come home for Christmas?” At the time it was just one more thing on the list of things I’d be sacrificing to go on a trip like this. I felt kind of good about it actually! It felt good to care enough about something to be willing to suffer a little for it.
Fast forward to the first weekend of December.
Our whole squad was together for debrief and I was in charge of planning a Christmas party for one evening. It was low key but really fun. Snacks, music, a white elephant gift swap, and Christmas caroling.
Of course I knew this was coming. I entered into this thing fully aware that I would be giving up a holiday season with friends, family, and familiar things. Before I left for the Race last spring I remember my friend Shannon asking “Wait, are you going to come home for Christmas?” At the time it was just one more thing on the list of things I’d be sacrificing to go on a trip like this. I felt kind of good about it actually! It felt good to care enough about something to be willing to suffer a little for it.
Fast forward to the first weekend of December.
Our whole squad was together for debrief and I was in charge of planning a Christmas party for one evening. It was low key but really fun. Snacks, music, a white elephant gift swap, and Christmas caroling.
I didn’t realize how hard it was going to be for me to be away from my home at Christmas until we started singing carols.
I could’ve cried through every song if I had let myself. So many memories came rushing back to me. Caroling with a group from church, singing along to favorite songs while decorating the family tree, practicing with my preschoolers for the annual Christmas program… Sacrifice all of a sudden doesn’t feel so good. I’d actually rather not suffer, is it too late to stop the train?
The thing is, if I was missing Christmas with my loved ones for the sake of the experiences I’m having, it wouldn’t really be worth it. Or at least it’s be hard to remind myself that when I’m really hurting for home. It wouldn’t even really make me feel better to say that I’m sacrificing for the Nepali people, and all the other people all around the world that I’m trying to help. Sometimes I can see how I’m helping, but other times I question if they would have rather I just sent money. It’s not about me, and it’s not really about them.
The only worthwhile reason to leave home and choose discomfort and abandonment is simple.
Because that’s what Jesus did.
It’s actually a perfect way to celebrate Christmas! This holiday is about the Son of God leaving comfort and perfect joy to enter a world that was infected with sin. This world is cold and dark and lonely because our sin separates us from God- life, light, and love.
I miss western style toilets. Reliable power, not to mention wifi. Ahh, washing machines… AND dryers! Taco Bell and Dunkin Donuts and pizza. I wear the same wrinkly, hand washes clothes again and again while my wardrobe of cute clothes (which I didn’t know how much I loved until I had to live without them) sits in boxes in my parents’ basement. I love my team, but I miss my sisters! We’re involved in ministries that I could never be a part of if I hadn’t come on the Race, but my heart is still heavy for the ministries I left at home- the teens I worked with at youth group and the little ones I poured into at the preschool.
But I’m glad for this experience. It hit me this month that in a small way I understand the heart of God and the suffering of Jesus better now. I left my home. To bring the gospel to people who need to hear it. I also came to pray for them, feed them, listen to them, help them. Some of them are truly grateful, and at times I’m able see the fruit of my labors. Other times it’s just hard.
So it was with Jesus. Except times a million of course. But you get it! Christmas is a good time to be all together, and next year you can be sure to find me decorating the family tree and eating pumpkin pie in my parents’ living room, dressed in one of those cute dresses I had to leave behind. I’m with you there! But this year in celebrating in an almost more appropriate way.
Really at it’s core Christmas is all about leaving home and suffering in order to reunite the world with their Heavenly Father.
