The seasons are changing. The last autumn leaves fall to the ground, revealing all that is hidden underneath- the intricate intertwined branches. The beautiful colors of orange, yellow, and greens are gone and in bold bareness the tree stands. Surrounded yet so alone. Its branches do not quiver; instead they seem to reach higher to the skies. This tree does not need to be hidden behind its dress of leaves, for there is so much more than the eye can see. For hidden underground are the trees roots. Not visible yet so vital and so beautiful.
No one but the tree knows it’s roots. They are what keep it alive and growing.
This tree is me. This tree is you. We all have our roots. The things no one can see or understand. And oh how alone this can make one feel. Yet we have the decision to continue to reach to the sky through the cold bare seasons. The ones where all you want to do is run and hide.
Just as winter blows in, this cold season has been most all that has consumed my everyday. No one ever said how hard the time between training camp and launch is. Let me tell you it is rough.
Coming home to realize that the community you have does not run deep like the community created with your squad during one week of training camp. Realizing how hard it is to practically apply all the things of camp. Vulnerability and openness are no longer the norm.
So I find myself shutting down. Feeling crazy alone. Longing for my squad and teammates. Longing to just LEAVE ALREADY>>
But I have learned when you live for the future, you will surely find nothing but unhappiness in the present. And that is all I was finding these past few weeks.
So I choose each and everyday to dig into this season. To live each and every moment. Home can feel lonely at times, but I have some amazing friends. And so many people that care about me. These last eight weeks I want to fully invest into my life here at home. I will enjoy each minute of the cold. For next year will come and with it a whole new set of struggles.
What you are rooted in, will directly affect your life. I choose to be rooted in a God that is full of love. That gives me all the food and water I need in each and every season. And for that I am ever so grateful.
“…rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.” Colossians 2:7
