It’s July 20, 2015
This is one of the dates I will remember for the rest of my life. It’s one of the happiest, most exciting days I’ve experienced in a long time. Today I came to Japan. Today I came to the land of my heart.
It didn’t fully sink in this morning that I was really coming. It just felt like another travel day, the last one with my squad. Then about 30 minutes before we landed I looked out the window of the plane and saw a coast line. My heart jumped and I couldn’t help but think, “Its Japan!” I looked at the plane’s map route which confirmed it to be true. The next half hour I went back and forth between crying tears of joy and relief and questioning whether my heart would explode from excitement. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt my heart beat so fast in my life.
I realised that part of me couldn’t get excited before this moment. Because part of me was afraid to fully trust that God would take me here. Some part of me thought something would happen and I wouldn’t get to go. But on that plane I saw yet again how faithful God is. He not only allowed me to come here. He brought the rest of my squad to experience the first few days with me. Even when I doubted and questioned and fought Him, He remained constant and kept His promise to me.
I still think that was the most beautiful coastline I’ve ever seen. It looked like every other coastline we’ve flown over but somehow it was different. It was the coastline of a promise fulfilled.
The moment the wheels hit the Tarmac I burst into sobs/laughter. I couldn’t help but look around to everyone near me and exclaim, “We’re here! We made it! We really got to go!” Then I Asian shuffled my way off that plane and through customs as fast as humanly possible without outright running down the halls. (I did try to have some level of restraint.)
And it’s been the most amazing thing, I’ve never felt so free. I’ve never felt so MYSELF. Something broke in me the moment I saw that coastline and the real me came pouring out, no holding back necessary. That was the moment I started to see again that I could trust God and He would pull through for me, that He does want to help me and let me have dreams fulfilled. In that moment everything it took for me to be here became worth it. Not just in a head sense, but in a heart sense. The journey was worth it because I got to BE here.
And for a moment I loved Japan more than I’ve ever loved anything, ever. It was exactly what I always knew it would be. I couldn’t describe how perfectly it fit with how I always knew it would look and feel like in my heart. And I got to experience all this with my squad- for which I am beyond grateful for.
There’s a song that’s become pretty popular within the squad these past 11months. I listened to it on repeat while we rode the bus toward our debrief location. It’s called “On Top of the World” and it says perfectly how I feel:
“I’ve had the highest mountains. I’ve had the deepest rivers. You can’t make it without keep moving… I’ve tried to cut these corners. Tried to take the easy way out. I kept on falling short of something. I could’ve gave up then, but then again I couldn’t help cause I’ve traveled all this way for something. So take it in but don’t look down. Cause I’m on top of the world, hey! I’m on top of the world, hey! I’ve been waiting to smile, ey! Holding it in for a while now. Take you with me if I can. Been dreaming of this since a child. I’m on top of the world!”
I know this isn’t the end for me. There are lots of mountains to climb and rivers to swim yet and I’ve only just begun to fathom the joy God has created me to live in. But for the moment I’m on top of the world and it sure has a beautiful view.
