A couple days ago I was borderline going to call this month my worst on the field. I wasn’t getting what I wanted out of it. I wasn’t acting or feeling like myself. I didn’t feel like I was being treated with the love I needed. I felt like I was stuck in “relationships of convenience” and had stopped putting stock in community like I had before.
But then something changed.
A couple teammates and I were hashing through feelings on a myriad of difficulties when we suddenly changed gears. Someone asked the question, “How can we put action steps in place to start changing the situation?”
So we started thinking. And in the end we decided to start with something as simple as breakfast. This morning we were going to wake up and eat breakfast together. Not just eating at the same table, but actually talking to each other and enjoying each other’s company. And then we were going to have Amad. And then we were going to come back together and talk about it.
When we woke up this morning we simply started with those small decisions. While discussing our Amad (or as some people call it “quiet time with God”) we got to talking about what Jesus said about making or “yes” a true “yes” and saying “no” when we mean “no.” We agreed to keep each other accountable for each day. Every day is new and anyone can commit to something for a day. So that’s what we’re going to do. Each day we’re going to commit to this simple start.
Just today it’s made a significant impact.
I got to make fruit pizza and oatmeal with a couple of friends as we listened to music and talked about some of our highlights on the Race. God and I had a great talk. I got to have “conversation with connection” in our post-Amad chat. (Which is something I need- it’s one of my main love languages.) And by the time we finished with our morning routine it was time to go have lunch with the kiddos.
I feel refreshed. The day feels lighter and brighter. The future looks more promising.
It’s not that I was constantly sitting in negative emotions before this. But I was alone. And I don’t know about you but when I feel alone it’s much easier to be overcome by the obstacles I’m facing. When I feel alone I get upset easier and quicker. When I’m alone I start writing dramatic things in my journal (think David’s Psalms). And when I’m alone I seem to have returned to the old, nasty habit of comfort eating (chocolate bars and cheesy pringles never tasted this good in America- I think my standards have lowered).
But today is different. Today I can, not just remember, but genuinely believe that any day with Jesus is a good day. Today I can see and hear Him clearly even if talking to Him requires solving some riddles. (He likes to play this game where He tells me a chapter and he wants me to find the verse or 2 that He wants to share with me. Sometimes this leads to momentary misunderstandings but He always clears things up. haha) Today I’m not even half way through and I already feel more productive than yesterday- and all I’ve really done is let God love me and guide my day. Today I know I’m not alone.
There’s this Toby Mac song that I love: No Man is an Island
“No man is an island. We can be found. No man is an island. Let your guard down. Please don’t try to fight me. I am for you. You don’t have to live this life alone. No one is alone.”
There’s probably a couple lessons to be learned in here but I’m going to emphasize this to you:
Don’t try to go it alone. Don’t be a lonely, little island. Join the rest of us on the mainland. It’s better.
Being alone sucks. Instead find people (or ask God to connect you with people- although they might not be the people you’d expect) with the same desire to pursue God as you. When you do that agree to make some small, easy changes TOGETHER. These are the things that are just as easy to do as they are to not do. Decide to do them and help each other when one of you doesn’t feel like sticking to their “yes” that day.
You’d be surprised what can change in a day. (I mean, did you read the blog I wrote yesterday? Slightly different tune.) And I believe that God will reward this commitment so that tomorrow sticking to my “yes” will make an impact too. Then it becomes a domino effect. Today is affecting tomorrow, which will impact the next day, and so on. And as my teammates and I keep affecting our tomorrows, we will in turn affect other people’s tomorrows. It’ll keep going on and on, like the song that never ends.
God’s cool like that.
