“I love you, OH LORD, my strength.”
Psalm 18:1
If someone ever asked me to describe my faith, the first word that would come to mind is simple. God’s power, majesty and intervention is crazy BIG, and yet, for me, He comes down to size. For a simple minded gal like me He makes His love come easy and not complicated. He is all Powerful and Mighty and He controls the stars and the sun and literally everything else, and still He comes to me as friend.
See, He holds the type of love that heals wounds and fills holes and gaps. He holds my hand through my life and protects me with a shield of love, and because of this I never have to walk in fear.
‘There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears was not made in perfect love. We love because He loved us first.” 1 John 4:18-19
AND NOW….
A lovely God story for you, featuring me in Thailand.
On Thursday of this week I found myself sitting in a coffee shop after teaching English to a mere two students wondering what type of impact I could ever make in Thailand. Completely forgetting that my work done here is in the hands of the Great One and that I am actually doing nothing unless I step back and become a vessel for the spirit.
So I’m sitting there begging God to just make something exciting happen, to do something that would make this trip worth it. I’m there praying “God I’m thirsty for You and You aren’t providing, this is Your choice not mine, I want to go deeper with You. I don’t understand.”
And because of my terrible attitude and a crappy mindset, I had a pretty terrible day. And it was MY fault not Gods. And then yet again, He showed me incredible love and forgiveness and He loved me right through my sass. That night after teaching English (yep I teach English twice a day) I was outside with some of my students and we look up and see one of the most incredible sunset I’ve seen since my time in Thailand.
In that moment God said “Katie, I see you. And even when you don’t see it I am blessing you… abundantly.” I began to count my blessings here in Thailand and I became overwhelmed.
Fast forward to the next day, we walked blindly into a women’s prison where we were told that we were allowed to share the Bible and testimonies. We show up to a pavilion with 15 women sitting in rows waiting for us. As I sat down I was freaking out thinking that I had no idea how to relate and that I wasn’t good enough to speak on behalf of the Lord. Of course, I was asked to speak first, but thankfully I was saved by a game of “Heads, shoulders, knees and toes”! My teammates Aimee and Sabrina graciously went before me and spoke good words for Him. As they were speaking I went to the Lord and told Him that I had no idea what to say, but that I will get up there and be a vessel for His Spirit. That I would let go of any anxieties public speaking gave me and any distractions that would hold me back from letting Him speak through me and just say what He wanted to tell His daughters, the prisoners. And that’s exactly what God did, when my turn came to speak I was no longer anxious but excited to see what God had to say through me to the women.
He gave a message of love. True love, true grace, and true joy. I stood in front of 15 women and told them exactly what the Lord knew they needed to hear. It was amazing to see, feel and hear the Spirit truly working through me. By the end all of the girls on my team had spoken and we all knew the Lord was stirring something up here, as our pastor began to speak in Thai, we had no idea what he was saying, until he asked all of the women to stand and say a prayer, a prayer that invited Jesus into the women’s hearts. I sat in awe of what was going on around me, when the prayer was over we stood as a team and asked for any specific prayers. So we sat down with one woman each and prayed for them out loud. I was praying in English and the women who sat in front of me was bawling, I knew the Lord was turning in her heart.
We left the prison wondering if that had actually happened. Then on the ride home I was thinking about what my day had looked like the day before and the way God had performed such Grace in my life and how those women at the prison had received His Grace.
But they hadn’t just received it.
They are drowning in it. and so am I.
Completely drowning in it. We cant run away from Grace, there is nothing we can do to stop the Lord from loving us, we cannot fight His forgiveness.
Friends, the Lord is good to me. and I am drowning in His Grace.
