The race has been going by so quickly these past couple of months that I have been seriously slacking on my blog post, and for that I apologize. My team and I are currently in Honduras, but I think there is a story I need to tell from a few months ago before I can move on to the now. I spent the month of February in Thailand working at school in the mountains teaching english. I spent the beginning of that month surrounded by some of the most beautiful landscapes I had ever seen. I have always heard so much about the sex trafficking industry in Thailand, and I was shocked not to see it in my small little mountain town. The stories however are very true and once we moved into the city, that brokenness was everywhere I turned.
Our last week in Thailand was a really special one for so many reasons. One of the main reason was of course because my parents came to Change Mai to do ministry with me for that week. I cannot put into words how happy I was to spend that time with my parents. Saying goodbye was so incredibly hard 8 months ago and even harder after that week. During that week together, we did a lot of different types of ministry. By doing this my parents were able to get a small glimpse into what this year of my life has been. During the day we did monk ministry and slum ministry, but at night we went out into the bars to do ministry with the women working.
We walked up and down streets full of bars with women working to sell their bodies. Even though during this year I have seen this brokenness countless times, I was able to see it all new through the eyes of my parents.
I saw through the eyes of a mother seeing mothers working to support their children in any way they can.
I saw through the eyes of a father seeing women who are daughters and imagining his own.
Through their eyes I was once again shocked by the ways of the world. The first night we only walked down the streets and prayed for everyone we saw. We prayed for the women working and the men there to buy. We prayed for the country as a whole. We prayed for the Lord to come into those dark places.
When we say down at a bar the next night we heard stories that will stick with us forever. One of those is the story of a “ladyboy” (“ladyboy” is a term used by the women we spoke with). I sat and listened at this beautiful person next to me explained how they got to where they are. For the sake of privacy in this blog we will call this person Stella.
Stella’s mother worked in the sex trade and when she had a boy she was completely crushed. She knew that a boy would never make as much money as she did in her business. That mother made a decision when Stella was an infant that would shape the course of Stella’s entire life. Stella’s mother began to give Stella hormone injections to make Stella look and act more and more like a woman. As Stella grew older she began to grow breast and take on a womanly shape. Once the mother deemed it an appropriate time, she threw Stella into work at the bars. This was Stella’s entire life, leaving her to not know another way. Men would come to the bars and purchase Stella for the evening, not knowing that she was actually a man. When the men would discover the truth about Stella they beat her, sometimes beating her almost to death.
Stella told us this apparently extremely common story. Three “ladyboys” sat around me as Stella shared this story, all nodding in sad agreement. When we asked to pray for them they accepted our prayers so eagerly. We held hands and prayed for each and everyone of them to know how loved they are by the Lord. We prayed for them to know that they are worthy of so much more. That they are sons and daughters of a Father who wants to desperately to hold them. A father who will never be disappointed in them but who is created them perfect for who they are. During this prayer I could feel Stella beside me crying. Desperately wanting out of this life that was chosen for her, but having no way to leave. We left that night without any answers and with broken hearts. Having once again been slapped by the utter brokenness of this world.
As I walked away with my two loving parents I felt such guilt for what I have. I cannot even imagine the feeling of knowing your mother was disappointed in you as soon as you were born. Can you imagine walking around with the shame of simply being born? There are so many people on this earth walking around with that shame form their parents yet here I am with parents who traveled across the world to tell me they love me…I will never understand how that is fair?
There are many questions that I carry around with me now after that night. Am I paying attention? Am I taking into account how incredibly blessed I am? Am I doing good with all the Lord has given me? Am I taking advantage of the fact that I am able to choose the course of my own life? Am I thanking the Lord for never being disappointed in me? Am I sharing that love He has for us with all those I meet? I wonder…can you answer these questions? Are you truly acknowledging how blessed you are? Are you reveling in the love the Lord has for you? It is my prayer that this story was able to touch you in some way. I know that for my parents and I, it was a story we will never forget.
