5 1/2 months marks half way on the Race and here we are in Zambia, already approaching the middle of month 6! Half way!
Sometimes it feels like my time on the World Race is flying by and other times it feels like time is not moving at all. The days are long and the months are short. At this point, I have some rockin’ Chacos tan lines and I’ve gotten really good at living out of a backpack. Moving after one month is becoming normal. Really, just not having a normal is the norm. There are past experiences that I want to relive, people I wish I could spend more time with, and ministries I really connected with. There are also past experiences that I never want to have again, people I’ve forgotten about, and ministries that I did not connect with as much. There have been times I’ve let both my pride and my insecurities win the best of me and times when I’ve seen Jesus for who He truly is. I’ve done things I never thought I would do and I haven’t done things I thought I would do.
Overall, it has been a 5 ½ months I would not give up for anything. God has been showing me and teaching me a lot, including:
-There is nothing wrong with wearing the same shirt three days in row. No 2 patterns don’t go together. And, of course, you can wear any style of shirt with a skirt, as long as the skirt goes to your knees.
-When doing laundry by hand, save a shirt or two to wear while the drying process takes far longer than normal and then gets interrupted by 2 days of rain. (and, if the opportunity arises, just let a security guard with a huge gun hung on his back help you wash your clothes properly)
-When you want to be alone, put headphones in and pretend.
-When living in the jungle of Bolivia, wear socks, pants, and long sleeves, even in the scorching heat, to avoid bug bites.
-Conversation topics such as digestion issues and the viscosity or frequency of your poop are totally normal.
-While preaching through an African translator, just smile and move on when the “Amen!”s and “Hallelujah!”s come at the complete wrong time.
But, more importantly, here are 6 of the biggest lessons so far:
1. God’s ways are higher than my ways. You have to let go of what you think missionaries/ world racers are supposed to do and be willing and available to do whatever is put in front of you. There have been times when I didn’t see the purpose of what I was doing, times when I felt my time and abilities were better spent elsewhere, and times when I felt there was a better way to do something. But God has been teaching me to fully buy in to the ministry in front of me, knowing God sees the bigger picture and that His purposes, plans, and reasons are greater than mine. I’m learning not to let expectations or my pride influence how I view the tasks ahead of me each month. Whether pulling weeds, passing rocks, doing evangelism, or having lots of down time, God has His reasons and I’m not entitled to understand them.
2. Be intentional in making things happens, in getting to know people, and in making the most of your time in a certain place. Don’t get lazy, whether your host has very little for you to do or your days are totally packed. The World Race is what you make it. Your team is what you make it. Your ministry is what you make it. I don’t want to get to the end of a month or the end of the Race wishing I had spent more time playing with the kids outside, or wishing I had payed more attention to a teammate’s struggles, or wishing I had spent less time on wifi, or wishing I had not shied away from an opportunity to share the Gospel.
3. Allow the Holy Spirit to move in you. Sometimes that means stepping way out of your comfort zone and not waiting until you feel totally prepared in order to do something. The Holy Spirit is alive and active, I just need to submit to Him and let Him into my life. I so easily draw boundaries for what God is able to do and boundaries for what I am able to do, but God is bigger than that. He wants us to boldly step into places where we must rely on the Spirit to work through us and to give us the words to say. Because He will.
4. Glorify God and forget about yourself. Ministry isn’t about what impact I can make, what skills and knowledge I have, or what I’m accomplishing. God has made me realize over and over again how self-centered I am, how I seek the glory that only God deserves, how I focus on my strength when it is Him who gives me strength, how I try to make myself look better when my purpose is only to make Him look more attractive and to bring the attention to Him. As Oswald Chambers says in My Utmost for His Highest, “Are you ready to be less than a mere drop in the bucket- to be so totally insignificant that no one remembers you even if they think of those you’ve served?”
5. Loving people is hard, but community is worth working hard for. Have the hard conversations. Be intentional in reaching out to get to know people, especially those you don’t naturally connect with. Be honest and open. And make your teammates’ preferences your own even when it sucks. People are SO different, even people who all love Jesus, who all come from the US, and who all committed to the same 11 month mission trip. Don’t just accept the differences, but work to understand the differences and the life story behind them and then celebrate the differences.
6. The matter of my worth was settled on the cross. I am deeply loved by the God of the Universe. He sees me as beautiful, as enough, and as valuable. I don’t need to be ashamed of my weaknesses or my failures and I don’t need to prove myself worthy of love. This is an ongoing process of engraining these truths in my mind and learning time and time again what it looks like to live as someone God calls “My Beloved.”
A squadmate once said during a talk, “Would God really call me on this 11 month trip and allow me to raise $16,000 with the purpose of just teaching me how much he loves me? Yes, He would.”
In the swimming world, there is a term “negative split,” which means the second half of your race is faster than the first half. Instead of dying off, you have the endurance to pick up speed and finish powerfully. While the World Race isn’t at all about speed and times, it does take endurance and strength. I want the second half of this “race” to be better than the first, with the lessons I’ve learned and the experiences I’ve had pushing me toward greater things—A second half full of loving people better, stepping up even when its not comfortable, trusting God in crazier ways, falling more in love with Him, becoming more like Him, and understanding more deeply how much He loves me.
Fundraising update: I am about $650 short of being fully funded and the deadline is March 1st. I have already been so so blessed by the generosity of so many of you. It blows my mind to see how much money has come in and how little I still need. But, I do still need more funding in order to continue to the next 5 countries.
If you would like to support me to help me reach the needed total of $16,250, click the “Support Me!’ link at the top of this page or in the left column.
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Haiti
Bolivia
Peru
Ecuador
