i never know what to write for these world race blogs, that are crucial to the fundraisng process.. or are they crucial? i dont know. i seem to be saying i dont know a lot these days, not quite sure why.
so, what is one to say after a little over two months of not blogging? i dont know; great question. haha.
we have had a team change. God is telling me to talk about my heart.. Sometimes I get so tired, as my friend hosanna writes as her musings- ' i am tired of talking about my feelings.' and i cant help but think that talking about ones feelings is almost like a guilty pleasure of mine, now… i groan and say ugh this is so not worth while, but deep down i love it. but shh dont tell anyone.
so hows my heart. or as alyse says, " where's your red dot?" – its a brilliant concept, really.
: back to my heart. well, its good i say. but is it? well doing a bit of introspection, my heart feels raw. exposed. like my deepest darkest secrets are surfacing and quite frankly its terrifying but i can see that God wants to refine myself and my character.
i want to say so many things but often times i dont know how. i prefer to keep things simple but yet somehow.. things like life, it becomes to messy so confusing and complicated like friendships and relationships and family.
i want to encourage you to mend a broken relationship in your life- talk to someone you havent talked to in years.
i want to be a person who finishes what they start.
i am on month ten. i am terrified, absolutely terrified of the race ending but I have Jesus and He doesn't ever fail me. I am so in love with the Lord. and My Passion for Him is just growing and growing. my Love for kids have substantially increased, considering, in Kenya all i did was just play and play.. and in thailand, this past month.. i just wormed my way into these beautiful asian children's lives, praying that they would open up.. i wanted more time with them.
next month my team and i will be at an orphange ( we are leaving for cambodia in a few hours). very sad about that but i trust that the Lord will allow me to visit those beautiful children again ( please Jesus).
Anyway my Heavenly Father never fails me. He may open doors that i want shut and sure enough he sure slams doors that i would really like to be opened wide. but the Lord knows best and I trust Him fully in that.
Prayers for time to just write about how the Father has stretched my capacity to Love farther than I ever expected would be beautiful. Much Love.
PS prayers for my teammate brit baker and old teammate mark rowdon would be lovely. xo
