“Being a missionary takes a lot of maturity. Why would you think that this is something you can do?”
“Missionaries seem to be somewhat lazy and can’t figure out life for themselves so they beg for money and go out to do ‘God’s work’.”
There has been quite a few words spoken to me lately about the World Race. People who love me dearly have been pulling me aside or calling me to tell me all their thoughts about what I am doing.
“You need to go to college, Katie. You need to prepare for the future.”
“Katie, did you see the news? Burkina Faso exploded. If you go there, a target is instantly painted on your back… and you will not come home.”
Ok… I am being dramatic… Burkina Faso did not entire explode.
Am I mature enough? I ask myself this question everyday. Can I do it? Can I go to a place where my words are lost due to the fact my native tongue is not understood. A place where my actions alone have to speak of Christ’s love. Am I good enough? Probably not… Honestly, there are times when I handle situations completely wrong and have to ask for so much forgiveness. I need just as much grace as anyone… No, I am not mature enough and I have to lean heavily on a Savior. I am weak in so many ways… I do not know how he does it, but I do know that God is big enough to work through someone as weak as I am. He has done it in the past.
“My grace is sufficient for you: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.”
~2 Corinthians 12:9
Am I just lazy and begging for money? I promise you that fundraising is absolutely not easy and not incredibly fun. If I were just looking for handouts I would look for an easier way. It is incredibly humbling and stretching to have to fundraise. There is a part of all of us that hates asking for help. We want to be super hero’s and go out to the nations on our our dime, saving lives, and beating back the foe. But as a 20 year old artist with a heart that longs to help, I can’t come up with $17,361 alone. I need your support and your prayers.
“He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it.”
~Philippians 1:6
College… hmmm… yes… That… I understand that furthering your education after high school is usually the path people my age choose. I didn’t… but don’t worry, there is still time… Someday, someone might convince me to go. As for planning for the future, you could not be more right. I do need to plan for the future, and at the same time God holds my future in his hands. He will direct my path… I only get to choose whether I go kicking and screaming or holding His hand.
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
~Jeremiah 29:11
There is turmoil in Burkina Faso. AIM does not promise that I will be completely 100% out of harms way all the time. It is a terrifying world we live in. People choose to blow other people up. By choosing to go I am signing on to head into a land where my God is not respected by everyone… Life is not always held dear. My question is, if no one does anything… how can this mindset change? It won’t end on it’s own. Every time I think about not going… about giving up and calling it a day, this passage in Esther comes roaring into my mind.
“For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?”
~Esther 4:14
Why am I on this earth if not to serve Him? Perhaps, this is why I was created… Perhaps God formed me, Katie, in my mothers womb so that through my weakness he could make himself manifest. I believe that God has called me, a terribly broken girl, to be a missionary on the World Race beginning in August of this year… and I can’t say no… I must go.
I want you to know that I hear you. Your words are solid and grounded in love for me. Thank you for risking friendship and closeness by voicing what is burdening your heart where I am concerned. There is a beautiful picture of loving arms reaching out to hold me tightly in these slightly painful words that I hear from some of you. I know you love me and I know this is just as hard on you as it will be for me. You don’t want to see me harmed, especially in a place so far away from you. Your heart is beautiful and I ask that you join with me in trusting God to take care me as I trust God to take care of you while I am far away.
“The Lord is my strength and my shield, in him my heart trusts.”
~Psalm 28:7
