This morning I woke up with the Donna Stewart song “Receive” stuck in my head, which was a little weird because I hadn’t listened to any Donna Stewart in awhile. Part of the song I was stuck on was this:

I sit beneath this honest tree
    of my freedom and my insecurity
And I go back and forth between where I am
    and where I want to be
And I wrestle with the doubts that crowd
    my redemption and my release
And I struggle with what people think
    and what I think of me

Carry me beyond the slavery
Build Your living hope inside of me
As I wait in righteous mystery
    For all You’ve willed for me
Its for freedom that I’ve been set free
Burn forgiveness bright inside of me
That I may give more graciously
    And that I may receive

Now where was I supposed to go with this? So for about an hour I sat and just listened and the only thing that kept popping into my head was Christine who had sent me Donna Stewart’s CD after training. Then the Lord hit me and tears and words just poured out into my journal. (I really debated on posting this, but it is my effort in trying to be transparent.)

I still am stuck on the fact that one of my dearest sisters will not be with me this next month in Nicaragua.
    Although I completely support her decision and feel as well that it is best for her, and is truly what God has planned for her, It will feel like something is completely detached and missing from my heart.
          This sister and sweet friend has been allowed to play an amazing role in my life the past couple of months. The Lord has allowed her to be such a comfort and a safe place for me.
                 She is a sister who I could be completely honest, and for lack of a better word, crazy with.
                              She may not have realized it, but the Lord allowed her strength in Him to shine as such a bright example of the power of who we are in Christ.
                                           She is a woman of God that I look up to, a beautiful daughter whose kindness and pure love burst out of her heart.
                                                           Her intentions and heart attitude are so pure and growth seeking.
 
I wholeheartedly admire her obedience to the Lord and how she follows His call no matter how painful or confusing.
              I admire her transparency and continually pray that I may adopt that quality.
                         The Lord has truly made her a leader of leaders, a woman of strong authority in Him.
                                      A woman who is truly listening to God and seeing the plans He is revealing to her.
                                             I know that the ministry He will use her in at home will completely bless her and glorify Him.
 
 

Christine, I love you so much my amazing sister! You hold such a place in my heart and I will miss you very much! I can’t wait to see what all the Lord has in store for you back home. Deep in my heart I know that the ministry He will have you working in is going to change lives and help so many women that have and are walking exactly where you are. You are an incredible blessing! Continue to pour that out on people and glorify Him! I’ll be praying for you girl!