(I started this blog in Cambodia back in February)
It has taken me for what seems like forever to even write this down. To come face to face with the bittersweet reality of what is fast approaching me this February. Sometimes the physicality of writing this down and putting it out there makes it more real. As if keeping it hidden in my heart would slow the process and wouldn’t allow it to happen. Even now trying to get it out brings massive crocodile tears to my eyes, but it needs to come.
Miss Andrea Wendel is one of the most beautiful women of God I have ever met. With such a compassionate and gentle spirit, she truly exudes God’s love. She is God’s love in the form of a woman. A sweet and passionate woman with a fire that burns so deep inside of her heart, the colors of crimson and purple. She loves endlessly, no matter who, where or when. She fears the Lord with the most beautiful reverence and humility. Each day she embraces with a heart seeking after Him, wanting to deepen their
incredibly intimate relationship. She is His bride and everything that that encompasses.
This woman is my inspiration. A woman who God speaks greatly to me through. A woman so obedient, so willing to be the Lord’s vessel. She is an incredible example of the love of the Lord. She is my safe place, my someone to share tears over flowing with. She is my celebration, a woman to celebrate victory after victory with. A woman to claim freedom with and a woman to walk in freedom with. She is someone who I seek council with time after time. A woman who encourages, challenges and empowers me. A woman I can laugh with and be goofy with.
A woman I love with all my heart.
One beautiful night, in a conference room in Siem Reap, Cambodia, God reminded me of all of these things and more. Not just through words, but through a connection in the spirit. Its so hard to explain and probably harder to understand, but its true and real and holy. Its something so big that I don’t feel the Lord has truly allowed me to grasp it all. I knew though. In that moment, while authority was being passed, while anointings were being bestowed, that our sisterhood was being sealed in His name and our hearts were being knitted even closer together.
And now here I am, a month after that night, walking without Andi by my side. Of course my heart is homesick for her and wishes she were here to share all of these amazing new experiences with me. I want her here to laugh with, to cry with, to share this beautiful community with. I realize though that it is time for me to “soar on my own”, to be lifted higher and to lift the squad even higher. To draw nearer to God, to seek Him more, to trust Him more, to be completely dependent on Him. To walk closer with Him in the spirit, to dive deeper into intimacy with Him, to become more of His daughter, more of His bride. To walk even more in the identity that He has for me, WHO I AM.
Although Andi is no longer here in the physical, I know that she is sharing all of this with me in the spiritual.
I know because we share a heartbeat.
