Sweetly Broken

       The poor call on us, we have to be aware of them in order to love them
                                                                                            – Mother Teresa

 

My heart broke as I turned and watched countless people turn their backs to Miguel, trying to ignore even his presence. My heart broke because I saw myself in those people. I saw time after time where I looked the other way as I passed the poor. I would make excuses such as maybe it’s not safe or if I gave them money they would probably just buy a drink. How far removed has my heart been from the heart of Jesus?
 

I recently listened to a sermon by Jennifer Toledo that really woke up my spirit.  It is impossiable to be intimate with Jesus and not care about the poor. Jesus is absolutely overwhelmed with love for the poor. You can not cut his love for the poor out of the word. You cannot cut it out of his heart. He is the God of the poor. He choose to be born poor. He choose poor friends. That is who He is!

 

While doing bar ministry in Thailand the Lord started to open my eyes to the unseen. That unseen was the people on the streets crying out for help. The man below is known as ” the begger.” Nancy and I would walk the bar streets at night and take him some food each time we passed by. We would exchange a sincere smile and then would continue walking. This happened countless times before I actually learned his name. I felt the Lord telling me to not just bring him food but to join him for dinner one night. So that is what I did. I purchased take out for the both of us, and then sat down on the side of the street to enjoy some Thai food with my new friend. To my surprise he spoke english. His vocabulary was not very large but if he didnt know the word he would then just act it out. I learned that this sweet mans name was not “the begger” at all but Somcsat. I also learned of all the pain he has had to walk through. Such as an accident that severly damanged his legs along with another accident that caused him to go blind in his left eye.

 

I asked if he had any family. “None” he responded. I then asked if he had any friends. “One” was his response as he lifted his hand to point across the street. As I followed his hand, it lead to a very old tired dog. He then said, “That is Buddy and he is a very good friend”. Tears welled up faster then I could fight them off. My heart broke for this man. I told him that now he has two friends as I pointed to the dog and then to myself. His smile seemed to increase as I prayed he felt the love of God.

 

Dinner didnt last long. He took about four bites and then rubbed his belly as if he had just finished four plates at Thanksgiving dinner. After he packed his leftovers up, he handed me his cup to beg for money. I took the half  pringles can and started to shake the very few coins that he had already received. I sat on the street for one hour asking for help for Somcsat, asking for anything. As heavy as my heart was sitting there I tried to lighten the mood by convincing Somcsat to sing as I tried to shake the can to some sort of rhythm. He laughed so hard, because i have no rhythm, to the point where tears started to flow down his face. Tears of great joy. Joy that I prayed would last through the night.

 

Sixty mintues passed and I had only received 2 baht to show for it, which is about one penny. As fun as it was to laugh with Somscat it was pretty brutal to have countless people walk by and look at you in disgust. More often then not people would look the other way and pretend they didnt see you. I guess if you dont make eye contact then you can convince yourself that there is not a helpless man asking YOU for help.

 

 I have always had a home and I have always had a full belly. I was so unaware of what it felt like to not have any of it. It is a life of humility thats for sure. A life that causes you to ask for a lot and receive very little.  

 

 

Jesus’ heart aches for the poor. His heart is filled with compassion. In the word it says over and over GIVE to the poor. Praying for the poor is not enough. Jesus did not just pray for them. He walked with them and He loved them. I dont have all the answers on what we should give and what we shouldn’t. I don’t think that is the point. I think we are just called to GIVE something…anything. Give your time, money, clothes, shelter, or even a smile.

 

Lord thank you for breaking me. Continue to break my heart for what breaks yours. Brand my heart with compassion.