A year of abandonment is what I signed up for and that is exactly the hand I am being dealt. My journey actually started before I left for the race when I got my heart broken by a man I loved. The Lord started my journey with brokenness and with that I prayed, Lord continue to break me. I want that brokenness because it leads my heart to less of me and more of Jesus. It leads you into such a depth of freedom and wholeness. Lord break me. I want to abandon all that is of me and take up all that is of you. Warning: Be careful when you pray such a powerful prayer. We serve a God that hears and answers.
The Lord has been breaking and stripping me in so many ways. Taking away is one common theme that He is using to break me. The only way I was able to communicate with my family and friends was through my laptop, which I bought two days before this trip. A week ago I dropped that laptop and it completely broke. Two days later I had my purse stolen. All my cash, IDs, debit card and very sadly my ipod were all things that walked, well actually ran away with my pursue. The ipod was hard to loose because the Lord has been pushing my heart to write songs here and I had over 100 in the works on there. Yes God I wanted you to break me but I didnt want it to look like this. Could you do it in a way where that it is pain free? In a way where I wouldnt have to lose the people and possessions in my life. It doesn’t work that way. Pray for brokenness and it will lead to hardships but the pain those bring will lead to a richness in healing and wholeness. As things are being stripped away I see it all more clearly, He is enough. Way more than enough!
The Lord gave and the Lord taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised. Job 1:26
This season of brokenness is hard but I am soaking up all that it is teaching me. I am learning that the relationships and the possessions in my life are not mine. I dont know when I started to claim the people and things in my life as mine because everything I have, has been given to me by God. Every person, possession and even song lyric is the Lords. It is HIS to give and it is His to take away.
A friend of mine was praying over me the night I had my purse stolen and she said she could literally see God saying to satan, ” Go ahead and take that from Katie and watch her faith in my will not be shaken. “That is my prayer that God would create in me an unshakeable faith. I pray that with everything He takes away, He will pour a little more cement over my feet to keep me frimly planted in Him.
Take a look around you. Enjoy the people and things that God has blessed you with. Enjoy what He has given you but dont cling to those things. Remember they are not yours anyways.
