I dont know how it happened. I thought I was fully armed. I thought I had my shield of faith up and ready. Did I set it down in the mist of war? I thought I was prepared. One day I was on the front lines with full confidence that I was untouchable. The next I was drowning in doubt. The voice that was taking me deeper into this sea of doubt was shouting, Do you really hear Gods voice? Do you REALLY hear from the living God? Are your visions and dreams really from Him? What about the gifts that you have been walking in? Did you really receive them from the Lord or is that from your own hands? Everything that the Lord had spoken over me I began doubting. I began belittling the Lords power to bring life to His word. I began to belittle His power to redeem the broken in my life. I was floating in what seemed to be an endless sea of doubt. The Lord is so faithful. So faithful to rescue.
I am in tears as I write because the doubt that entered my heart was so powerful to destruct but the power of the Lord is greater than any other. His voice swept over the sea I was in and said two words, praise me. I was then reminded of an incredible story that I heard through a sermon. It is about the man that wrote, Oh How He Loves Us. He wrote that the day after his best friend was killed. He woke up to the voice, is the God you serve really a good God? He had two options: roll over into the doubt that was sweeping in or praise God. So he sat up and in a very broken voice began singing, Oh how he loves us….He is jealous for me. I am a tree getting wrecked by His mercy. Oh how He loves us. Because this man choose faith there is now a generation singing about the furious affections of our Gods. This is a moment where I know Satan regrets attacking this man with doubt. Sing praises to our God in the face of the enemy. Let him regret every attack he attempts to throw your way. As I praised him, the waves of doubt that once crushed me transformed into Gods love crashing over me. The weight of doubt became the weight of His love. A love that covers all.
‘ Praise Him, while the mouths of liars will be silenced’ – Psalm 63:11
I am learning that one of Satan’s, the father of all lies, biggest attack is doubt. Genesis 3, his first words, ‘Did God really say that?’ I have found myself trying to argue with the voice of Satan. Trying to defend that it WAS the voice of God that I was heard but every time I walk away drained. I finally realized I am never going to win that battle. Satan is never going to say, oh good point that must have been the voice of God. He is going to keep me in circles because that keeps me distracted. It keeps me from stepping out in full trust. Lord I know your voice. I no longer will give Satan any power. I will not allow doubt to have any grip on my heart. I love you Lord. Your voice is higher than any other. Let the waves of your love take me under. Let them sweep me away. Let your love cover me O God.
As the Lord continues to call me to fight, wait or do anything that is bigger than me, doubt begins to rise. His voice sweeps over me, my daughter BY FAITH you can walk into what I have called you to.
Hebrews 11 is becoming one of my favorite chapters. The other day I was reading it and the Lords just started to highlight words that carried a significant amount of weight. Read these words and feel the weight that FAITH has.
BY FAITH
Offered. Sacrifice. Commanded. Still Speaks. Taken. Commended. Righteous. Pleased God. Hoy Fear. Built. Called to Go. Obeyed and Went. Lived in Tents. Became a Father. Blessed. Worshiped. Gave Instructions. Not afraid. Left. Persevered. Kept. Passed through. Walls fell. Welcomed. Not killed.
‘ Without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.
THROUGH FAITH
Conquered Kingdoms. Administered Justice. Gained what was promised. Shut the mouths of lions. Quenched the fury of the flames. Escaped the edge of the sword. Weakness turned to strength. Powerful in Battle. Received Back. Raised to life. Tortured. Refused. Faced jeers and flogging. Chained. Put in prison. Stoned. Sawed in two. Death. Destitute. Persecuted. Mistreated. Wandered in deserts and mountains, in caves and holes in the ground.
‘ The world was not worthy of them…all were commended for their faith. God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.’
Highlight of the week:
I approached this sweet lady just to tell her how beautiful I thought she was. Her response: I know. I was taken aback by her response. I dont think I have ever heard that from a woman before. She paused for a while and said I am beautiful and so are you because God makes all things beautiful. Today I was reminded who I am because who my creator is. God makes all things Beautiful!
