“We wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against . . . the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” (Ephesians 6:12).
“You’re too quiet.”
“You’re easy to forget.”
“You’re not worthy.”
These are the lies that Satan hisses in my ear. The list goes on and on, but these are the ones that cut deep. He has been feeding me lies and instilling fear in me since I was a child.
My whole childhood, I remember being absolutely terrified to go to sleep at night because I was so afraid something would happen to my parents or brother, and I could feel dark, scary “monsters” in my room. As a child, I would run to my parents, and they would reassure me (although they began to get annoyed as this became a nightly occurrence) and send me back to bed. I even used to tell my brother not to talk about Jesus out loud because it would make Satan angry and attack us. How twisted is that?! It wasn’t until recently that God revealed to me that my childhood of fear wasn’t just a phase, but it was actually spiritual warfare that was occurring in my bedroom every night. And at some point along the way, I guess I got used to the fear and built a tolerance to it, because now I can say that I’m not easily scared. God was working in me before I even knew it! Although I have overcome that fear that Satan attacked me with all through my childhood, he still attacks me every chance he gets.
The whole month before training camp Satan started attacking me hardcore. I woke up multiple times in the middle of the night to intense, heavy darkness in my room. All of a sudden, I was having all these fears and doubts about the World Race, which has been something I’ve felt called to for so long now that all the doubts really freaked me out. I got really insecure and discouraged, which only became worse when some people started to say really discouraging things to me about the World Race. One guy even mocked me for it. I’ve been made fun of a lot in my life, but nothing hurts worse than having someone mock your faith and everything you believe in and work for. That’s straight from Satan. He is evil. He is annoying. He is terrified. Satan is doing his best to steal, kill, and destroy. But he won’t win.
I remember having a dream when I was little where Jesus appeared by my bed, wearing a white robe and glowing so bright that He lit up my room. I immediately tried to bow to Him from my bed, and fell and hit the floor, where I woke up. So as weird as it is to analyze my childhood fears and see spiritual warfare, it’s incredibly reassuring to know that Jesus was standing next to me and my bed the whole time. And He still is. He’s holding my hand and leading the way as I prepare for this journey. And if God is for us, who can ever stand against us?
So back off, Satan. I am the daughter of the Most High King, and you have no hold over me.
“The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet.” -Romans 16:20
For an explanation of spiritual warfare, what it looks like, and how to overcome it, read this super helpful article:
http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god/deeper-walk/features/27282-spiritual-warfare-is-real
