This month was “womanstry” and “manistry” month, so all the guys formed a team, and the girls from my team were paired with the girls from another coed team, forming Team Phnomenal. We lived in Phnom Penh and worked with a church to disciple youth and teach English. I also taught an art class twice a week, so that was a blast! I enjoyed getting to know the youth and their hearts for the Lord, and it was incredible to see their desire for learning English. Also, they were all INCREDIBLY talented with art!
Satan has had it out for B-Squad all this month. Many of my squadmates have gotten really sick this month, some had things stolen, some were involved in a tuk-tuk accident, and my teammate Katie LaRose and I were in a motorbike accident.
Our accident was like one of the “what if” scenarios from Training Camp. It was something I only heard about, not something that would ever happen to me.
But it did.
The day started off really great. We were spending our off days at the beach, and Katie and I decided to take a boat to a nearby island for the day. We came back that afternoon, a little sunburnt but so glad that we went to the island, despite the sketchy boat that carried us there. We got back to the pier and decided to skip going to the crab market in order to go straight back to our bungalow to see the rest of our team and get ready for dinner. When we got to our motorbike, I asked Katie if she wanted to drive, because I had been driving it a lot.
We turned out of the pier and hit a concrete barrier on the side of the road. My right leg went over the barrier, allowing me to get off the bike safely with just some minor scrapes and bruises. Katie, however, got her leg stuck under the bike while it was still running, damaging her foot and ankle pretty badly. People began to gather around, shouting in Khmer, and a tuk-tuk driver went to get us an ambulance. I was in shock and was having a hard time forming a clear, coherent thought in my head, but the most present one was “Oh God, oh God, oh God, please help us.”
And He did! This American couple, Rolf and Debbie, pulled up and got out of their truck to help us. I was so relieved to have English-speaking people to talk to, and it turns out they spoke Khmer as well, so they became our translators. As if that wasn’t relieving enough, Rolf calmly asked me what we were doing in Cambodia. I told him we were on the World Race, and he said “Oh yeah, with AIM.” I felt so relieved that he knew what we were doing, what we believe, etc., and I knew, without a doubt, that God was with us and was covering us with His protection.
However, since the accident, it’s been a struggle to hear from God and see how He’s working in this situation. For the first week or so after the accident, I couldn’t close my eyes without reliving it – the feel of the bike hitting the barrier, the feel of my leg being dragged on the concrete, the sight of Katie’s foot when I picked the bike up off of her, the sounds of her pain. Then her foot began to get worse and she had to be transferred to a hospital in Bangkok. And I felt so guilty. Satan constantly fed me lies:
“It’s your fault.”
“It never would have happened if you hadn’t offered her the key.”
“You’re the reason Katie is in the hospital and having to leave the Race.”
So I got really angry with God and began to question Him. Why am I here, and Katie’s not? Why did He keep me on this Race, struggling with apathy and complacency, but take Katie, who is always challenging, serving, and pouring out to those around her? Why is God taking away those that I’m closest to on this squad (first, Corinne and I were put on different teams, then Misti went home, and now Katie)? I don’t understand.
But I don’t have to understand. I just need to trust and know that God is good. And thankfully, He’s not intimidated by my anger. God has shown me that He wants me to depend more on Him. He wants the kind of relationship with me that I have with my close friends.
So, this next month, I’m going to put my heart out there and allow God to heal it. I’m going to fiercely seek Him, and when Satan tries to kick us down again, I’m going to fight back. I’m no longer going to give him any power over me. I’m so angry with Satan for attacking us that I’m ready to squash him every chance I get. My God is victorious and will fight for me. I’m ready to thrive in this environment, instead of just surviving. I feel recharged to now do the Race not only for me, but also for Katie until she can rejoin us.
“If God is for us, who can be against us?” –Romans 8:31
“The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet.” – Romans 16:20
