…Restoration
You may ask, "What is God restoring?"
In my life personally,
one of the things he is going to do is restore the image of what men of God are…
Through-out my college years, I have had men in my life in different respects…
men that were friends,
men of interest,
men that were acquaintances,
men who were classmates,
and men of influence.
Coming from high-school years marked with betrayal & back-stabbing, I started off college eagerly anticipating a fresh start with new friends that were Christ-centered. It took some trials runs with different groups of people before I found that ones that were what I was looking for and needed.
God blessed me with these people on a Campus Ministry spring break trip during my freshman year. Looking back & reflecting over the past 5 years God very specifically and purposefully placed them in my life during that time. One of those blessing from that group of people was a man who God used to teach me SO unbelievably much over the past 5 years.
He was a man of influence in my life.
He spoke truth.
He displayed characteristics of Christ to me.
He met me where I was.
He cared.
He loved.
He invested in my life.
He taught me.
… sounds like a man of God to me, or so I thought for a few years.
The trials and imperfections came, usually in waves.
The lack of communication in some areas, of receptiveness, of respect & honor.
Things were great, then they weren’t, then they were, then they weren't.
Really, it became an emotional rollercoaster for the last 2.5 years—up & down, right turns & left turns, up & down, up & down
And then came the horror film when the rollercoaster tracks suddenly disappeared
& everything came crashing down faster than I could have ever imagined.
Unlike the horror films though,
I survived but with a broken heart and not just broken but angry heart, scratched from head to toe, & deeply bruised.
I got up and walked away, but vowed to never turn around.
To never go on a rollercoaster again, that if this is what friendships/relationships with men of God are going to be like there was no way I would ever invest again.
No thanks God, I am done.
Thoughts ran through my head:
“God, how could you let this happen to me?”
“Man, where is your heart? In fact, do you even have one?”
“God, I hate men.”
“Man, I hate you.”
“God, if this is what a man of God is & how they are going to act, I don’t want or need them in my life again. Ever.”
My negative thoughts slowly changed to prayers:
"God would you please restore the image of Men of God in my life."
God is going to answer that prayer, in these next 11 months.
He placed me on a squad with 11 men of God, all unique in their own ways and deeply in love with God.
He placed me on a mixed-gender team with Kyle & Jake, which means I HAVE to learn to trust men again.
While this scares me to death,
I feel truly blessed by the men he has selected to surround me with.
These men on my team and squad are like the Man I spoke of early and MORE.
They are…
Men of deep genuineness & integrity.
Men of humility & of a love so deep for Papa, that is overflows (perisseuo) in their interactions.
Men of respect & of honor for women to a depth that I have rarely experienced before.
Men who I know will not be perfect, who I don’t expect to be perfect, who will mess up at times but I am confident that will the depth of humility and genuineness they have already displayed will be receptive to the feedback we give them because they honestly seek edification in the areas of their lives that need it.
They are Men of God!
God is bringing restoration,
and I am ready.
