I’ve had a lot kicking around in my mind and heart lately, but I haven’t gotten around to sharing it. Honestly, I’ve been a bit blogstipated. But I want to share about what God’s doing in mine and Katie’s life, and I want to glorify God for the work He’s doing!
Recently, a friend of mine, Allison Johnston, wrote a blog and said that in the different seasons of her life, God has been like a kaleidoscope. When the circumstances of life turn, you see a different side of God and come to understand him differently.
I can definitely relate to this analogy. Every time I start to think I have things figured out, the wheel turns a little and I see something new and fantastic about the Father, and I realize that He’s so much bigger, better and greater than I will ever be able to comprehend. I thoroughly enjoy the parts I get to see though.
Not too long ago, I was reflecting on the last six months of my life. Honestly, they have been phenomenal in every way possible. Ministry, marriage, friendships and even finances and fitness have all been areas of my life in which the Lord has shown me His favor in ridiculous ways. These last six months have been possibly the best of my life. And I don’t understand why.
I haven’t spent hours upon hours reading my Bible and praying, I haven’t spent tons of time pressing in to relationship with the Lord, and I haven’t shown through my schedule and time usage that He is the most important thing to me. And yet He has blessed me more than ever.
Suddenly, an alarm went off in my mind, and I realized that I was making some pretty big assumptions about who God is and the way He works. For some reason, I still think I EARN the things He gives me. In my subconscious, I still think this is a system of works and reward. Granted, I don’t try to earn God’s favor through following the rules or living a perfect life, but I try to earn it through relationship and intimacy.
As I struggled and asked God why He blessed me, I felt Him whisper to me, “Because I love you.” What? Even when I don’t respond with love and devotion? Even when I don’t pursue Him, He’s still crazy about me and pursuing me and trying to win my heart? And the answer came again, “Yes, that’s right.”
I’m humbled by this kind of love. It’s so much different than my love, and so much better. Thank you Father, that you define love, that you are not like me, that you chase me in every season of life and allow me to see more of you, more of your love, mercy and grace!
