homemade cinnamon.

 

When
I was in nursing school, I had a distinct picture of the nurse I wanted
to be. I wanted to be compassionate, loving and filled with empathy.
I wanted to be there for people in their darkest moments. I wanted
to hold people and provide hope for them when all they wanted to do
was close their eyes and end the pain. And right alongside this, I
wanted to be competent. I wanted to provide the best care possible.
I wanted to diagnose issues, solve problems and intervene whenever
possible. I wanted to know every possible fact, truth or concept
that could help me help them.

It’s
funny how I viewed these two areas of service so differently. When I
thought about my technical skills as a nurse I realized my need to
study and practice, practice and study, and then study some more. I
poured over my nursing books like they were the next best thing to
dark chocolate. I literally spent over 90 hours a week devoted to my
schooling. And I can promise you, that got me closer to my goal of
competency than anything else could have. However, when it came to
the type of nurse I wanted to
be, I just assumed I would either be a loving, compassionate nurse or
I would not be. And truth be told, I often view my spiritual growth
in the same way.

There
are things that I am yearning for so deeply these days. I just want
so much more of God. I want to hear His voice, I want to walk in His
power, I want to BE the child that He has called me to be. And well,
I want it all right now. But, to be honest, that’s crazy. Can you
imagine me showing up to nursing school that first day and being
frustrated that I wasn’t as good of a nurse as my instructor? You
would have thought I was nuts to have such ridiculous emotions. It
was a process. I had to study, to practice, to learn, and to put in
a lot of hours to even begin the journey.

I’m
learning the same truth holds for my spiritual life. Yes God is a
very active and necessary part of this process, but that doesn’t
leave me out of it. I’ve got to put in the hours, I’ve got to
continually surrender myself to Him, and I’ve got to take steps
forward each and every day
if I’m ever going to get somewhere.

     

Working hard in the kitchen.                                                       The rock, the bark and the finished product.

I
spent this week in a tent near the western coast of Ecuador. We
worked with an incredible family and spent our days serving the
community right alongside them. During our time there I taught them
how to make some American food-including cinnamon french toast. I
got fresh cinnamon sticks from the jungle and had to figure out how
to turn these pieces of bark into powder. After hours (literally) of
tearing, chopping, cutting and grinding (with a small rock) I had the
exact product I needed. It may have taken a whole lot of work to get
this single ingredient, but the results were worth it!