My first financial deadline: June 24th – $3,500 in my account.
And my fight today is: FEAR & WORRY.
This seems to be a lingering monster in my life… is it one in yours as well? It’s my strongest competitor, fiercest voice in my head, biggest doubter, and the thing that can break my resolve in 2 seconds.
Hi, I’m terrified. Have I fallen into this windy abyss yet??
When I first heard about the World Race, I felt a small whisper, a quiet fire in my heart that quickly grew into a bigger passion.
And then I saw dollar signs…. $16, 255 PLUS the cost of travel and gear?? The sleeping giant FEAR was awoken: IT’S IMPOSSIBLE. But I have people and a God in my life that wouldn’t let me keep hanging out with Fear.
So I applied. Once again, Fear was there to accompany me.
“You’re not Christian enough.”
“They won’t want you because of…”
“YOU’RE not a missionary.”
“What if I don’t raise the money?”
“What if I am misinterpreting God’s call to this??”
“What will people say?”
“Am I crazy??”
But once again, God wouldn’t let me stay with Fear.
…and then I started to look back on all the ways God has been faithful in my life, in the present and past:
- I was FULLY funded for my May trip to Managua, Nicaragua…2 years in a row! It brings tears to my eyes to think about God’s goodness and my sponsors’ generosity in that. God completely removed Fear & Worry in that season.
- God removed a destructive relationship in my life at JUST the right time. His ability to take away can make us resentful and angry… but He has restored me and given me SO much more than I could have dreamed after that relationship, even though I couldn’t see it at the time.
- He has given me a faith family & brothers and sisters in Christ at Traders’ Point (my home church) and even beyond that! My brothers & sisters in Christ (maybe you!) helped me see the Gospel for the first time. They love me unconditionally, forgive me, understand my brokenness, and have restored my faith in the Church. At the exact moments I needed them, God placed people in my life that I didn’t even know I needed.
- Through 2 years of searching for calling and purpose after graduation, God somehow kept me sane, grew me in Him, provided me with a mentor in Christ, made me content in a place I had felt so much depression and anger, and changed my heart.
- The Holy Spirit opened my eyes and ears to the World Race at EXACTLY the right time… if He had given me this call 2 years ago, I wouldn’t have been ready. If He had waited any longer, I may have given up or turned back to some old, destructive habits.
- He has given me a family that has provided for me throughout my life: emotionally, spiritually, financially, in love and compassion…He has restored our relationship!
- He placed me in a position at Nora Elementary that I had desired, to use my gifts & passions … for 3 months that felt like an eternity after graduation! I was at a school in a position where I have learned SO much about myself, teaching, the world, and my future. I have had opportunities to serve kids from all over the world, develop my gifts, speak Spanish, teach Zumba, share laughter, give love, and learn from professionals who mentored me.
- He’s granted me victory over shame and guilt. He has unconditional forgiveness and grace & love, no matter how many times I fall.
- All those worries about getting into college? Making friends abroad or my freshman year? Back when I went to Guatemala freshman year? ALWAYS providing me with the strength and energy to study, work, compete in cheeleading, and have friends? The incredible classes and education in social justice I got from IWU?? All my travels??? Like… WHOA, God is good.
- I could go on forever!
How quickly we forget all the ways God has provided for us! While asking Him for more…
“WHY?? Why don’t you provide for me NOW? Where is the money going to come from? Why don’t you take away the Fear & Worry? Give me peace & patience NOW!”
Enough.
Today, I’m going to keep fighting the Fear & Worry – with the knowledge that it is already won. I can kick out this monster with a shield of FAITH, sword of TRUST, SURRENDERING it all.
The God who made the whole World can handle my fears.
I know that I’m not strong enough alone. There’s no way I can raise this support or prepare myself spiritually, on my own…
…and that may be why you’re reading this.
Because God works through people, and I pray you would consider in your heart if you are being led to sponsor me financially or send a note of encouragement!! I need both so very much.
Please click “Support Me!” at the top of the page and/or “Comment” below to encourage me!
I pray that this post would give you some peace or encouragement through whatever battle or struggle you have today. I’m right in there with you. Jesus has already fought that battle and won!
Let’s rest easy knowing His grace, love, and power can carry us through.
“He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.” Col. 1:17
“The fear of human opinion disables; trusting in GOD protects you from that.” Proverbs 29:25
“Early in the morning, as Jesus was on his way back to the city, he was hungry. Seeing a fig tree by the road, he went up to it but found nothing on it except leaves. Then he said to it, ‘May you never bear fruit again!’ Immediately the tree withered. When the disciples aw this, they were amazed. ‘How did the fig tree wither so quickly?’ Jesus replied, ‘Truly I tell you, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done. If you believe,you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.” Matthew 21:21-22
THANK YOU so much to those who have already sponsored me. So glad to have you on my team!! 🙂
