Man oh man, the Lord is good and faithful.
He is faithful in high seasons and in ones where his children grow weary and stubborn.
Even in the midst of my tantrums, he waited patiently and surrounded me with friends and supporters to pray for me.
When I finally came to my surrender point (confessing to Him, as well as publicly), his Word proved to be true.
James 5:16 says, “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” Furthermore, Acts 3:19 calls us to “repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.”
I can testify that prayers were answered and healing came. That the Lord brought renewal to this worn and cross disciple of his.
A week after sprawling out my struggle in my last post, the difference in my spiritual condition was night and day. My craving for the Word went from lackluster to desperate to be in His presence. The enemy’s attacks went from crushing boulders to tiny pebbles. Instead of reading scripture with only “do’s” to take away, I saw the love of Christ being demonstrated to his children. Lastly, instead of looking for rest in sleep and time off, God led me to Hebrews 4:11-12:
“Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will perish by following their example of disobedience. For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.”
Rest is found in his Word, in his presence.
I had become so fixated in striving to serve and be spiritually “fit” that I lost sight of the one leading me in those things. I was like a disabled ship detached from its tugboat.
An excerpt from my She Reads Truth devotional perfectly describes how God intended his vessels to run:
“He never calls us into kingdom work because we are the most fit, the most prepared, the most gifted, or the most popular. He doesn’t ask us to do things that we could easily do in our own strength and power.
Instead, He invites us out onto that tightrope where we know we aren’t qualified, where we must trust His Spirit for every step. A life of ministry and obedience can feel scary because we know we cannot grit our teeth and do what is required on our own. We aren’t capable of reaching a lost and dying world or serving selflessly in our own strength. We can’t generate enough elbow grease to produce faithfulness on our own. Our resumés are just good kindling in God’s economy.
That reality can paralyze us. And yet, when human eyes only saw Saul’s failures, God looked at him and saw future faithfulness.”
When I think about this past season, I’m thankful for it. The World Race will have the highest highs and the lowest lows, and through those, I will be reminded of where to go for rest when I grow weary. Reminded I’m not independently capable of what the World Race will ask and require of me. Reminded of his pure, unconditional love solely because I’m his child.
