When you travel the world, you know you are going to try some pretty amazing and interesting foods.
Eating different foods from each country is part of experiencing the culture, and so many memories and relationships are made around the table.
I’ve eaten the beautifully baked bread of Europe, true authentic Thai food, and incredible empanadas.
I’ve also eaten crickets, maggots, and dog (I think).
Food can be a challenge when serving around the world, but I’ve always had the mindset and firm belief that when something is served to you, you buckle down and eat it whether you like it or not. Ninety percent of the food we have been served has tasted amazing, but that 10 percent is simply a hump in our efforts to honor those who just prepared something for us.
I’m pretty black and white when it comes to eating on the field. I’ve just seen a denial of food or a recoiling face at the sight of a dish completely shift a local’s demeanor and impact our relationship with them. Me refusing food or not being thankful is simply not worth the impact I could have on a friend’s feelings. Plus, I know I’ll get some dang funny stories…
But for as staunch as I am about food eating various culture’s foods, the Race has been a rollercoaster of a struggle with it comes to diet.
Not because of weird foods, but because of lack of control.
I dealt with an eating disorder throughout my entire time in high school. One year of anorexia and restricting food, and three years of spitting it up.
Long story short, God healed me. Legit. After four years of tearing up my body, my knees hit the ground, tears flowed wildly, and my voice cried out. I finally surrendered my eating disorder to the Lord, and the next morning, my eating disorder and the power it had over me had vanished. (*If you’d like to hear the full story or have questions, let me know and I’d love to talk to you!)
It was one of those crazy God stories I’ll forever praise Him for, but what I later realized is that even though I was healed of the physical actions accompanying my eating disorder, I never dealt with the underlying reason it was ever there.
Because of my history, the World Race actually mandated clearance from a counselor in order for me to go out onto the field. At the time I pridefully thought, “I don’t really need this anymore, but sure, I’ll go.” One to two sessions in I was awakened to how much food and weight anxieties had still plagued me. I was able to dissect some of the roots and acknowledge that body image, self-consciousness and self-confidence were still major battles for me.
But because of my opinions about food and missions, and not having issues with food on past mission trips, I didn’t think there was going to be much of a problem.
But, eight months in, I can firmly say my relationship with food has definitely not been easy.
I love vegetables. I typically don’t eat starches other than oatmeal and sweet potatoes. My favorite snacks are Skinny Pop and Halo Top Creamery (200-300 calorie pint ice cream). Shocker that those things have not been easily found…
The months when my team and I have cooked for ourselves have obviously been a little easier mentally. Because I have control.
But the bread for breakfast, huge plate of pasta for lunch, and bread again for dinner? The rice and noodle combination with one piece of spinach? The gifted piece of cake after an already large meal where food waste is rightfully frowned upon?
These are the meals that send my mind into a frenzy.
Those meals are not daily, but they happen more often than my fear-of-being-fat mind would like. And again, my frenzied mind stems from a lack of control and fear of not being considered “beautiful” by the world or men.
My food and weight anxieties are more prevalent in certain countries, and Colombia just happens to be one of them, which is why I’m writing this now and asking for your prayers.
I don’t exactly know what to ask for in prayer. Part of me says, “pray I don’t gain weight.” But that’s really not the prayer I want at all. I want to serve and love the people who labored for us while honoring God with my body and practicing timely restraint. I want to not be consumed with thoughts about weight and image and “beauty.” I want to enjoy food and not be running over myself with anxieties afterwards.
God has been faithfully walking with me through this food journey. He told us he would be with us always, and so early on in the Race I began “eating with God.” Sometimes I would ask God what I should order off the menu and other times I would ask him to whisper to me when I needed practice discipline. That may sound so crazy, but I have never had a healthy relationship with food, so I was and am in desperate need of help. Often times I forget to ask my Food Coach to eat with me, but He’s never stopped cheering for me and spurring me on.
In fact, a huge hurdle He’s helped me with is learning to truly enjoy the wonderful foods the world has to offer without anxiety following the finishing bite – something I failed at miserably in the States. I haven’t been 100% successful, but I’m for sure a B+ student right now.
I don’t have a bow for this update because my journey with food isn’t wrapped up yet. I’m writing this one to simply ask for some personal prayer.
Thank you so much for you prayer and support thus far! Colombia has been absolutely incredible and I look forward to sharing all the Lord has been doing in the ministry we’re working with!
P.S. Since this blog update is already on the topic of food, the empanadas and arepas are enough to justify a trip out here. The natural beauty of the country is an added bonus.
