To be honest, this World Race thing is hard. I’m in month 6… It feels like a life-time away when I will be home. I miss my church, my comfort, driving, my family… especially them, and so much more.
When they told us at training camp that the race was one of the best things they ever did but also one of the hardest, they weren’t lying. I can honestly say the are very few things that can rival this ache I have in my heart to be back at home.
I was at a really low point during our journey from Guatemala to Thailand. Our wonderful alumni Squad leaders were leaving us, we were going into a completely different culture, not to mention it was on the other side of the world. My team would also be the Unsung Hero team this month.
Everything was new. Everything was uncomfortable. Everything was crashing down on me all at once. I ended up crying in the bathroom of the LAxX airport by myself for an hour and half or so. I wish I could say it got better after I just cried it all out but it didn’t.
During Unsung Hero’s month we spend a lot of time moving around. There rarely is a plan until that morning, a lot of sitting around and waiting. I started shutting down. For about 2 weeks I was not really interested in the Race. I felt like God had left me. I didn’t feel His love. Not because it wasn’t there but because I didn’t want to acknowledge Him.
I knew how to fix the situation. I just needed to turn to Him and let him speak truth and love into the situation but I didn’t want to. It was easier for me to just sit there and become more and more depressed.
I finally got off my stubborn butt a couple of days ago. It was partially because of my sister Maddie. We were messaging and I told her how much I missed home. She spoke into the situation by giving me Romans 8:18 “What we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later.” She also said “anything easy isn’t good, and anything good isn’t easy.”
She couldn’t be more right. I have full faith that God has me here for a reason. I fully believe that He loves me and that He is with me every step of the way. As long as I turn toward Him I will see His love, but I have to turn to Him daily. I can’t put Him on the back burner. That is all too clear this month. I have to constantly seek Him or I’m going to sink quickly.
That is what I’m going through currently. Thank you so much for reading it. Also I gigantic shout out to my supporters, THANK YOU MUCH! I only have $189 left to raise! Praise the Lord.
Love
Kathryn
