Hey friends!
Wow, a lot has happened since I got accepted to go on the Race. A whole semester of school has passed, the countries I’m going to were announced, and the Lord has provided a lot of growth and freedom! It’s been a full few months, and I know God better because of them.
Preparing to leave in September has not been an easy process, but it has been a period of growth and strengthening of my faith to see the Lord work in ways that are so undeniably Him! I love how we serve a God who delights in providing for us and showing us how real He is. So it has not been easy, but it has been good. Oh, so good! I’ve learned that God is and provides exactly what I need, whatever that may be, always.
On nights spent in tears because I was overwhelmed at everything that’s about to change or because I started to realize how heartbreaking it will be to say goodbye, He provided comfort. A friend to spend the night in my room or a phone call from my mom, a hug from someone who had no idea what was going on, or simply peace and comfort that is unexplainable apart from Him.
On days when fear and doubt have weighed heavily, when I wondered if I was really going to make a difference or if I would hurt more than help, when insecurity caused me to question this next step for me, God has reminded me that it’s His job to make sure that His name is glorified…and He will do that! He has reminded me that it doesn’t rest on my shoulders; I simply get the utter joy of following the God I love and obeying Him the best I can, and He will provide the growth, He will glorify His name. He has restored my joy in walking by faith and of knowing Him and for this awesome opportunity to get to serve Him and tell others overseas!
When my inadequacy is very apparent and I stumble over words I wish I could take back, when my sin seems to be too much and I get frustrated at “doing the very thing I hate” (Romans 7), the truth He brings to my mind is that He doesn’t regard me according to my flesh (2 Cor. 5), that He will bring me to completion (Phil 1) and that He is SO much bigger than my sins and weaknesses. He is not bound by it! His power is even made perfect in it.
During the times when I have been so overwhelmed at what God is doing now and that He would allow me to be a part of this (not just the race, but His will here on earth), He has allowed my heart to joyfully praise Him and rejoice, to smile until my mouth hurts and dance and laugh and to enjoy this beautiful life He gave me, offering up my thanks.
Whether I’m sad or excited or drained or overflowing or weary or joyful or some strange combination, God has been exactly What I needed, every time. He is our Provider, our Comfort, our Peace and Strength and Renewal and Joy and Refuge and Friend and Father, and it’s so cool that the Almighty God of the Universe would choose to be all of those to me. To you. To anyone who wants Him!
And right now, in Jackson, Mississippi, in my daily life, I’m getting know Him better, to be crafted into His vessel, an instrument for His use and glory, and to understand more and more what being His daughter and following Him in faith looks like. This summer, I will get to do the same at home in Memphis, and starting this September, I will get to continue to know and proclaim my great God in Thailand, South Africa, and Nicaragua. And I’m so pumped!!
To the God who loves, who forgives, who comforts, who provides, who glorifies His name, who intercedes, who heals, who redeems and restores, who does immeasurably more than we can imagine, to our sweet Father be all the glory.
