I almost died on the Race. After writing THIS blog abut fighting the spiritual darkness, Satan apparently wanted to do what he could to keep me from using God’s power within me. He felt threatened and tried to take me down. But he failed. So this is the story of how I was protected by God’s hands and came out alive, only inches from terrible disaster. (WARNING, there is a little bit of gore that might make you twinge.)
So what happened? I had climbed a cherry tree to help gather fruit for one of the families we have been working with this month in Romania. I was out on a (what I thought) was a very thick and sturdy limb, gathering the best of the most beautiful deep red cherries. I have climbed trees a million times, and considering the heights to which I had gone before, a mere fifteen feet did not seem that high up. But it was enough. It was high enough that when the branch inexplicably and very quickly broke, I came swiftly hurtling down, face first into a concrete wall directly beneath me. I hit hard, and as my face slammed into the concrete wall, the impact caused me to lurch back and somehow land squatting on my feet. Immediately my first thought was that I had lost all my teeth, but what I didn’t realize until later is that those teeth saved my life.
He led me to a place of safety- He rescued me because He delights in me – Psalms 18:19
Yes, I was just inches away from possibly dying. The impact was so powerful that if I had hit just an inch lower, I would have hit my chin, which would have snapped my head back and broken my neck. Or I could have landed on my neck. An inch higher and my nose could have been shoved up into my brain or my eyes could have popped out from being hit. If I had I had turned my head even slightly and inch I would have either permanent brain damage from the impact, or be dead. And if I had landed an inch to the right from where I landed on the ground I could have been skewered by tree branches and suffered from life threatening internal damages. The chance of high risk consequences is all too high, and everyone tells me I am lucky to be alive. But I know it is more than that, I know that God and His angels were guiding me as I fell to land exactly where I needed to come out alive and proclaiming His name. (You can watch a quick 30 second parody about this, which a great friend made for me HERE.)
I was rushed to the emergency room, upper jawbone completely crushed with half of my teeth smashed up into the space next to my nasal cavities. (You can see in THIS XRAY just how close one tooth was shoved up to my nose.) My mouth had taken a really bad hit. It’s ugly, not gonna lie, and I could tell by the looks of pity on everyone else’s face that mine was pretty messed up. (You can also tell by THIS photo collage including a picture immediately after the accident.) But God gave me grace. I wasn’t in pain; the shock lasted for hours as I calmly sat in the examination chair, and I was even laughing as I let nurses feel my tooth through my cheek. But everyone was shocked. I just kept hearing the nurses say over and over, “optimistica”, until one of the nurses said, “I don’t understand, how are you smiling so much? Why are you so happy?” … The only answer is JESUS. For the JOY of the Lord is my strength.
It is an odd thing to say, and probably even more odd to conceptualize, but in this terrible situation I have never before felt such peace. I had never before experienced God in such a way- I was so completely calm, with a peace that passes understanding. Despite the fact that my face was literally smashed up and bleeding out before their very eyes, I wasn’t scared, nervous, or even upset. As I sat in the hospital chair being analyzed and spoken about in a language I don’t understand, all I could do was pray continuously. Not pray for my own healing, or even that the doctors would be knowledgeable and well-practiced (like I probably should have been doing), but pray that through it all God would be glorified. “Lord, please show up in this. Let it glorify you, let it somehow bring more people into your Kingdom, shine Your love and Radiance through me and let me be a testament of your grace, power and mercy. Let it glorify You in every way. Make me your vessel, your tool, give me your strength and your beauty to show who You are. Let this glorify you, let this bring you glory, let your glory shine through….” Over and over I prayed this, having no other thoughts, no other words. But they weren’t my words; they were the Holy Spirit interceding on my behalf in every way, and the only thing that kept me sane, smiling, and in the Father’s presence in a beautiful and unexplainable way.
The GLORY of God HAS been revealed in every aspect of this accident, bursting out of every place possible. His HEALING, His POWER, His GOODNESS. God has been doing incredible things through my story and I’ve been able to reach out to a lot of nurses and patients to talk about where the peace and joy that passes understanding comes from. God is truly blessing the whole thing. Literally NATIONS are gathering together in prayer, not only for my accident but also the Spiritual Warfare going on behind it. People in the USA, Northern Ireland, Vietnam, Thailand, Myanmar, Moldova, Romania, Dominican Republic, USA, Laos, Panama, and Germany are praying. People are realizing the reality and seriousness of Spiritual Warfare and are being prompted to take action against Satan. People are witnessing the peace, love goodness, and glory of God, His power and the power He puts into a smile. They are lifting up His name. I can’t wait to see the further glory I pray it will continue to bring Him.
Some people have been questioning the goodness of the Father for allowing me to go through pain. People have messaged me how they are sad that God would allow me to go through suffering I never deserved. But Faith, my teammate and the beautiful person that she is, was crying on my bed telling me how beautiful it is that God would pick me BECAUSE I deserve it, because He knows that I am strong, can handle it, and will run to Him to bring me through it in a beautiful way. He knows that by picking me for this trial, not only will my character be tested and made more like Christ’s, but I will use it as an opportunity not to sulk, but to glorify him, to tell people about Him and His goodness. I have been so blessed by her words and gorgeous perspective, and am even more honored God would see all of that in me and choose me. I cannot believe that God believed in me enough to make me so useful, effective, and even so faithful through the whole thing. It is not of me, any of it. It’s all God. I am not bitter or upset, just in awe of how God has and will continue to redeem the whole situation and make it beautiful. Our God is good. He makes the pain and wreckage gorgeous. Trust and believe in that.
I have felt so loved and encouraged, overwhelmingly blessed by the prayers, messages and visits. I have even more fully become aware of my own power and authority to bring God’s kingdom. I am experiencing and realizing the importance of speaking out in BOLDNESS, because Silence is a tool that Satan uses and uses so well. I am experiencing the beauty of trials and God’s redemption through the suffering. I have been blessed through all of it with an increase in trust and faith that I can take no credit for. I am so fortunate. He loves me so well!
(And I can’t help but include some funny coincidences that shows the comical and great character of God: My first month on the race, in the Philippines, I wrote THIS blog about a girl Hedessa who was about to have her teeth pulled, encouraging her to not have fear and rest in Christ. Now, a little less than a year later, on the final month of MY Race, I sit here having had FOUR teeth pulled, resting in the peace of Christ! God has a wonderful and poetic way of bringing things full circle. Plus there are the details of this story including: the rotten branch that broke representing a rotten Devil and how I had to pick around rotten fruit off the tree. Oh, and my Romanian Pastor also thinks it’s ironic how after spending the morning praying powerful prayers out loud before my squad, Satan would choose to attack my mouth in an attempt to silence me, stop me from lifting up the name of the Lord. Haha- jokes on him, because I will never stop proclaiming the good name of the Lord.)
So as I write this, I am sitting in a Romanian hospital wearing a super fashionable flower hospital nightgown in a gurney bed, next to a public bathroom with a toilet that doesn’t flush and a sink that won’t stop running. I have just had surgery with impeccable and talented doctors, under technician lamps that are held together by gauze. I am being waited on by nurses who are very tender and sweet, but don’t speak all that much English. And even though smiling makes my stitches pull and bleed, and my puffy swollen black eye squint so I can hardly see, I cannot stop laughing and beaming because the Lord is my Joy, my Light, and my Salvation. I see and feel him everywhere, in the blessing and the beautiful hearts He has sent my way. And I am utterly and completely THANKFUL that I almost died on the Race. Because I didn’t. I am alive in awe of a GOOD God that is so much GREATER than any fear darkness or misfortune. Through my troubles and distress He is good, and I take comfort in knowing that He is glorified. JESUS!!!
So I encourage you to look at your own life: in your suffering, in your trials, in your pains, where is Jesus trying to bring beauty in the breakdown? Where is He trying to redeem, bring peace, comfort, and the promise of His glory? Because I assure you HE IS. If you can lift your eyes up to Him, TRUST in Him, and praise His name even when you feel like weeping, I promise He will show His face of goodness, mercy and grace. It may be hard to see now, but though there is pain in the night, JOY comes in the morning. And though you may feel inches from Death, the Lord will deliver you, come alive in and through you, and will make you beautiful and new again. Our God is not a God of death, but of LIFE.
The LORD is my Rock, my Fortress, and my Savior; My God is my Rock in whom I find protection. He is my Shield, the Power that saves me, and my place of Safety. ~Psalm 18:2
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your SAVIOR ~Isaiah 43:2-3a
If you would like to donate to my cause and help me pay for my medical charges, and OPERATION GET KAT TEETH, feel free to read about how you can do that, HERE.
