In our American culture we have the tendency to keep ourselves busy or be entertained by things that will fill space in our schedules. We are always on the run. Sometimes we clutter our schedules with work, caring for our families, running errands, making time for friends, sports, or volunteering in our community or church groups. In all honesty, this is my life at home. I like staying busy. I like being involved.
One of my biggest struggles is being still for myself. If I’m sitting down watching television, I have a hard time focusing on the program or movie because I feel like there’s always something more important I can get done in that time.
I have a huge servant’s heart. I want to be plugged into different places where my hands and feet can be useful for another. I also genuinely love community with people. Spending quality time with others is something I can’t live without. I love meeting new people, I love discipling new believers, and being apart of new and different things of what God is doing big around me.
But one of the most HIGHLIGHTED things the Lord has revealed to me this year is the importance of intimacy with Him. But in His STILLNESS. A relationship with the Lord is intimacy. Intimacy looks like being intentional, reserving time, a heart to heart friendship, and expressing adoration to the Lord.
Around month 6, I was struggling to find any personal quiet time including my time with the Lord. There were distractions everywhere as well as little personal living space. This was the month where I noticed I craved alone time with God but couldn’t find my “perfect” space and time.
This was the month where I realized I allowed myself to be busy and tired to the point there was no way I could be still with God. These were my personal excuses. I also believed the lie that I couldn’t hear from God because I wasn’t reserving intentional time with Him.
Throughout the race I was learning that being still with God is where I could hear Him most clearly. But finding stillness was still an issue for me. I couldn’t sit still and block out distractions around me or in my mind. In the beginning of month 7 we had a squad debrief in Uganda. One night, someone from the squad had spoke a message to us. After, she had us do a listening imaginative prayer. The day before I asked the Lord for his forgiveness because I was in a weird funk the previous month and didn’t have a desire to sit with Him. So, during the prayer I had a vision of me standing on the back of a cruise ship. It was like a flashback to 2011 when every evening I would run around on a lower level of the cruise ship and after I would stand at the back of the ship just to look out into the sea. It was my favorite spot where I admired God’s beauty on the sea. Only this time, in the vision, Jesus was there with me. He pointed out into the sea, “The stillness you see out there is where I am inviting you to be with me.”
Jesus knew it was my struggle. He knew I wanted to hear from him. He knew I desired to want to know God more. He also knew that I would receive revelation from him when I would find him in the stillness I was looking for.
And so Month 7 in Uganda and Month 8 in Kenya, I seeked for God in my quiet times. Every time I sat still with Him (eliminating distractions) I felt surrounded by Him. I felt loved by him. He revealed his GOODNESS to me in numerous ways. ( Please Read my last blog : It’s All Glorious)
God has shown me how much He desires my attention and my love back to him. He desires for my dependency on Him. He desires the Father- daughter close relationship with me. Not only has He revealed so much of His heart to me but because of it, it was His empowerment for me to be the open vessel I’ve asked to be. I’ve been more in tune with filling the lead of the Holy Spirit. I’ve become more confident in preaching, evangelizing and prayer for others needs. I’ve been more encouraged than ever to seek the Lord’s plan for my life and being an open and honorable vessel for God’s glory. I’ve been more empowered and motivated than ever to share God’s love with others.
And the more revelation He gave me as I practiced being still with Him, the more He showed me the danger of being busy at home.
I’ve come to an understanding that cluttered schedules without stillness with Him or having Sabbath, is dangerous for our spiritual being. We can be burnt out and feel spiritually dry. Also the more time we spend with God, we are able to love better, share compassion like Jesus, be more in tune with the Holy Spirit, and we grow in our likeness of Jesus. We must first need to know who God says we are. We first need to let God minister to us before we can go out ministering to others.
God desires to sit still with you. He desires to be your husband. God desires to be your Father, friend, counselor. He is the source that empowers you to see His Goodness and take the right path of living.
Be empowered by His love, glory and grace! I encourage you to find stillness with Jesus. It is an open invitation! Sit still and clear out any distractions so that you can hear the Lord speak more clearly. Let God minister to your heart. The Lord will speak. Just be patient and trust Him. 🙂 He loves you and wants you to hear what He has to say to you.
A bible story that helped me sit still was when I read Luke 7:36. I had always imagined Jesus as this man walking around finding crowds to teach to or healing people left and right. But here He is invited to a party. He is sitting down and a sinful women walks in worshiping at is feet by kissing his feet and putting rare perfume on them. The Lord showed me that here In this story, I can sit like Jesus did at the party. And let God minister to my heart. I want to give Him my time to allow Him to love me like the Jesus allowed the lady to worship Him.
