Wow! It’s been a hot sec since I’ve written a blog… how are you guys?!
This last month just flew by.
Wifi was pretty iffy so we spent a lot of time talking and laughing and being in community. Personally, it was a rough month for me. The Lord stretched me (yet again) beyond my wildest dreams. He revealed a lot to me in a short amount of time.
We stayed with PenHop (Penang international house of prayer) and we spent many hours in their prayer room interceding, worshipping and diving into the word. The Lord really took this time to hang with me and remind me who I am because of Him and where I am because of Him.
I’m now sitting in bed, at mini debrief, reminiscing on this last month and only a few words come to mind.
Prayer. Unforgiveness. Love.
I have some pretty sweet testimonies of each that I’d like to share with you.
Prayer:
Abba is just so funny at times. He tends to show me exactly what needs prayer at what time by the song he wants to play on my playlist. This was a cool form of prayer/intersession that I’d never done before. He took a song and highlighted the best points and I wrote them down and prayed them. This was just the beginning. I then learned that there are so many ways to pray and to talk to God. It’s so cool!! He revealed a lot to me during our fun conversations! He’s the best.
Unforgiveness:
In the last blog I wrote about butterflies, I mentioned forgiving people I didn’t think I could, and turns out I didn’t wholeheartedly.
At one of our ministries this month we worked in a soup kitchen. This ministry was so wonderful, we got to pour into the homeless in the area and we got to be poured into by some of the folks to volunteer there. One lady specifically rocked my boat. Her name is Verna, she’s a volunteer from South Africa. Verna’s ministry in South Africa was deliverance ministry, she literally pours out the Holy Spirit. She has the God given ability to see, hear and even spell evil spirits. So naturally this was the topic of conversation while we peeled some veggies. After our conversation I had some questions about the gift of discernment. She invited me to get coffee and then gave me a hug and said she was so excited!! I was too!! I was nervous!! I knew one in one time with Verna meant my world was gonna be rocked. After some small talk about her gifts, she shared what the Lord revealed to her when she hugged me. She said she felt a spirit of resistance rooted in unforgiveness. Y’all I thought this woman was CRACKED OUT!! I couldn’t help but laugh a little. Me, being naive and self centered thought there was no one I needed to forgive. She asked me, “when I say the word unforgiveness what comes to mind” after I answered she handed me a piece of paper and said “write everything they did to you and how it made you feel.” and wow that was the hardest thing I had ever done. It’s never easy to admit wrongs that have been done to you. When I finished, she threw a curve ball and said “ok now say it to me. Bring this darkness to light and give it to Jesus” my heart was pounding. My eyes were sweating. I did everything in my power to say it without crying, “don’t be afraid to cry. Tears means the spirit is healing. There is healing taking place” after lots of tears and strength, I said who has wronged me and how it affected me and finished with the bold statement, “but, I am choosing today to forgive you and release you in the name of Jesus Christ!” And WOWIE I WAS WALKING WITH NO CHAINS!! LITERALLY!!! After more tears and more hugs, Verna asked, “now that you forgave, you can be forgiven. Do you want to rededicate your life to Jesus? He opened up this space for this moment!” So I was like “HECK YA VERNA LETS DO THIS THING” and said “Jesus you are my Lord and my savior….” gave the whole spiel and was LITERALLY DANCING AND SINGING AND I FELT PHYSICALLY FREE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY 19 YEARS ON EARTH! Verna said I was literally glowing! Full of the Holy Spirit!! “Jesus looks good on you!!” So yeah, November 20th 2019, the Lord used a woman from South Africa to change my life. He’s so cool. Wow.
Love:
So remember when I said tears mean healing? Well, one night during one of our prayer sessions with PenHop, the lord reached me in such a special and intimate way, He’s such a gentleman wow. Anywho. We were sitting in session and I felt a disconnect, like a major disconnect. It was really hard for me to focus on anything and I felt like I was blocked from everything. It was not fun. I asked my friends to pray over me and still nothing happened so I was pretty upset to say the least. I sat in my chair in a daze. God really showed me that I had issues and that it’s hard for me to accept that I don’t have to work to earn His love, that he loves me for me and he meets me where I am and is constantly pursuing me. The song how he loves came on and as I was singing “how he loves us oh how he loves us” God was singing to me “how I love you oh how I love you” and it was such a sweet moment and it really showed me a lot so I’m working really hard on believing God loves me for me and I don’t have to work for it and he’s been so sweet and holding my hand through all of it.
It is so much easier to love and to forgive with the truth that Abba loves and forgives you!! Wow!! How powerful is that?!?
Malaysia was a wild ride, I can’t wait to see what India has in store for our relationship!
All my love always
Katie <3
