The college I went to was completely different than I expected because it really was as the slogan says, “A Christian school in the heart of Nashville.” The fact I went to a Christian school was purely because I wanted to play soccer. However, God used my love for the game to capture my heart.
I remember my sophomore year of college the team met to do our weekly Bible study that was led by the players. It was my second semester sophomore year so I had just become an active follower of Christ maybe 3 months beforehand. I was still learning and my teammates were well aware of the heart shift I had started to make.
During that study, one of my teammates pegged us with this question: “You’re about to go out to sea and you’re given two options to choose from. Option one looks like this huge massive cruise ship with everything you can imagine on it, lights, games, spas, all you can eat buffets, and the like. This ship was basically the perfect cruise ship except Jesus wasn’t on it. Option two looks like a small wooden plank, just big enough to fit two, and you see Jesus waiting on the plank. Which one would you choose? To my surprise, most of my friends said the cruise would be their first choice.”
However, I knew at that point in my life I would choose the wooden plank with Jesus on it. I knew that was what I would pick in a heartbeat, but I also knew in the middle of my struggle and in the middle of something difficult I would jump off and try to fight the waves and storm by myself even though Jesus is on the plank with me. I didn’t realize how much that would hold true.
You see the reason I believed this so strongly is because not even a few years prior I had been out in the ocean paddle boarding in Charleston, SC. The tide was still coming in when we got out there. About an hour had passed when Dad started calling Matt and myself into shore because the tide quickly began to change. Instead of pulling us into shore it was pushing us out to sea and the waves were getting bigger and bigger the longer we stayed out there. You see Matt was already closer to the shore so he made it back rather fast, but I had already been sucked out too far. I remember my arms were exhausted, I was so thirsty from being out there for so long, and worse yet, I was heading down a cove that had signs posted everywhere saying $1,000 fine if caught swimming there and thatmarines had died there because the rip tides are so dangerous. Me, thinking quickly on my feet, wanting to stay as far away from that area and as close to my family as possible, decided to jump my already exhausted body off the only thing keeping me above the water and tried to swim to shore.
Meanwhile on the beach my family is sprinting towards the cove, having to climb over corral that is cutting uptheir hands and feet. A man on the beach who was fishing starts bringing his line in and following my family towards me to help. All the while everyone is screaming at me to get back on the board.
But you see it was already too late. Waves were crashing over my head and I couldn’t hear anything. Not to mention, I refused to let go of the my paddle as I didn’t want to pay the fine for losing it (yes I realize now that is very irrational thinking to try and save the paddle but I was definitely holding on for dear life). So here I am, already having abandoned the only thing keeping me above water, no life jacket on, attempting to swim towards shore with one arm. To many’s surprise this strategy didn’t work. In fact, most of my decisions actually made my situation more difficult and I grew more and more exhausted than I was to begin with.
That moment has seemed to be a common theme in my life. I jump off the wooden board, or paddle board that is my safety net when Jesus is sitting right there with me. I panic and think I can do this on my own and without hesitation I leap into the water when in the end I’d be much better off sitting with Jesus on the board. Only these times when I jump in, I jump carrying much more than a paddle. Whether it’s the shame of not being good enough, the insecurity of always wanting to be right, fear of being judged if I’m wrong, carrying around guilt or pride, or the weight of dealing with sin I have in my life, I bring those into the water with me. Throughout my life I have learned those are a lot harder to swim with than that paddle. Instead of staying on the flotation device and giving all of this to God, I have let them weigh me down until I feel I’m about to drown.
But there’s light at the end of this story. You see, something finally registered that day in the water and I got back on the board. Thankfully, I made it close enough to those corral rocks that I was able to be pulled to safety by my brother (thanks Matt). When I got there I didn’t have to carry that paddle by myself anymore. Someone in my family carried it for me. The same is true in all my other situations. When I finally decide to get back on that board with Jesus, he brings me back to shore safely and I am no longer carrying those heavy burdens or sins alone. I may still be exhausted and tired from the experience but the weight of what I have to carry is so much lighter than when I jumped off the board to begin with.
I encourage you to stay on the board with Jesus and to choose the board to begin with. Every time I sway or jump off I end up regretting letting myself feel like I’m drowning. Sometimes you have to ride out the storm giving everything to Jesus and trust that he will protect you and be there with you, keeping you above the water. I’ve been able to learn from my mistakes and know that staying on the board with Jesus is the safest and smartest place to be. Jumping into the water and trying to swim with your paddle, burdens, sin, shame, and anything else you are carrying, exhausting yourself to the point you feel you are drowning isn’t worth it. You already have the best flotation device around. Don’t let the fear of not getting back to shore scare you enough to leave what is keeping you safe because I promise you will get back to shore if you are patient enough to ride them out with Jesus sitting next to you.
There may be times where you feel like you’re bobbing up and down in the water, barely channeling enough strength to come up for your next breath. But you will. And when you do, I pray you know you can put your hand out and God will grab ahold of you. I pray that you will root yourself in His Word, and remember He is there for you and loves you like no one else. Don’t let the fear of wanting to already be on the shore control you. Let your fear go and get back on the board with Jesus.
Bible verses to help get you started:
Joshua 1:9 Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
2 Timothy 1:7 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.
1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Isaiah 43:1-3 Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord you God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
Luke 12:25-26 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life[a]? 26 Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?
Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Psalm 9:9-10 The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.
1 Chronicles 16:11 Seek the LORD and his strength; seek his presence continually!
Deuteronomy 31:8 It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.
2 Thessalonians 3:3 But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen and protect you from the evil on
Psalm 27: 1-3 The LORD is my light and my salvation whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid? When the wicked advance against me to devour me,it is my enemies and my foes who will stumble and fall.Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear;though war break out against me,even then I will be confident.
John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
