six
This is how many days between now and when I leave Arizona.
eleven
This is how many months are between when I leave for The Philippines to when I have a return ticket home.
If you have read my last blog, you know just how crazy my emotions have been and if you have watched any of my recent snapchats, you know just how many packing and to-do lists I have made.
A phrase that has been used more in the last month than ever in my life is:
“Running around like a chicken with my head cut off.”
In the last few days, I have been getting a lot of my things packed into my hiking packs, and re-packing those things over and over…in the last few days a lot of items have been checked off my to-do list; I have been able to see a lot of my family and friends, and spend some meaningful time with them…in the last few days I have packed up my belongings at home into boxes, to prevent loads of dust accumulating in my vacant bedroom; in the last few days, Abba Father has given me pep talk after pep talk…
Isaiah 40:28-31 Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might He increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.
Isaiah 41:10 Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.
Psalm 18:32-34 The God who equipped me with strength and made my way blameless. He made my feet like the feet of a deer and set me secure on the heights. He trains my hands for war, so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze.
2 Timothy 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power and of love and of self-control.
Zephaniah 3:17 The LORD your God is in your midst, a Mighty One who will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness; He will quiet you by His love; He will exalt over you with loud singing.
God has given me immeasurable strength. He has removed the roadblock of fear, doubt, and sadness that was hindering me from recalling God’s purpose for this time in my life, which is to serve the nations, to fulfill The Great Commission the Lord has for each of us who love Him. I have needed this time to search the Lord and be built up in Spirit and in truth. I have life in me again, I have joy for leaving, I have purpose and desire to serve.
Having found this joy and strength does not mean I am not sad or nervous sometimes; I know that I will still cry lots of tears and clutch to my friends and family for the goodbyes, but I will let go of them, reminded of this purpose.
The Lord has ministered to me so sweetly in the last weeks, giving me time to mourn my departure and all I am leaving behind. He has reminded me that this world is temporary – all the belongings we have, all the money in our banks…but what is unseen is eternal.
That is why in SIX very short days I will get on a plane that does not have a return ticket. I will leave my comfortable bed and home, my favorite pup in the world, my best friends, and my family; I will give it up, willingly, to plant some of God’s eternal glory in 11 different countries. And I will do this with the strength and peace of God that surpasses all understanding.
