So as some of you may know Healing Prayers freak me out. I have never felt comfortable enough to pray for someone to get healed because what if my faith wasn’t enough. I was always scared that because of my mistake, I would create an even greater barrier between the person I am praying for and God. So it came as quite a shock to me a few months ago when God showed me that Healing Prayer was much more factual that I thought. He showed me through Peter and Paul healing the begging man in front of the temple “I don’t have any silver or gold, but what I do have I give to you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, get up and walk.” This wasn’t the part that baffled me, it was a few verse later when I realized that Peter didn’t make a spectacle for everyone to watch while he was in the processes of healing the man. No it was not until verse 12 where he finally realized that everyone is the temple was freaking out about the beggar being healed that he told them “why are you amazed at this, or why do you gaze at us, as if by our own power or piety we had made him walk?” God showed me that He doesn’t heal people as a way to just display His power, no it is a much more intimate process.
I can tell you when I realized this I freaked out majorly because I know every time God has reveled something like this to me, He always creates opportunity to walk it out. GGGRRRREEEEEEAAAATTTTTT I responded sarcastically!
AND GUESS WHAT… THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT HE DID AT TRAINING CAMP
So it was about day 4 into training camp when we were talking about walking in freedom when I heard God tell me VERY CLEARLY to go pray for a girl I knew who was on crutches in the back. Now I am not the most compliant follower, and was really not wanting to do what God was asking of me. So instead of having this story go on about how hard headed I am, just believe me when I say God and I went back and forth about 5 times per request he asked me from this point on.
After much resistance, I decided to make my way back there and go pray for her. Now remember this is the first time in my life that I have actually pray for healing for ANYONE, much less someone that I barely know. So I quickly pray for her and then dart for the door immediately after I finish. I did not want to watch, I did not to see what God was going to do next. I didn’t want to be present if my prayer epically failed like I thought it was going to. Thankfully God knew exactly what He was doing.
God comes and meets me outside where I am trying my best not to freakout. I am trying to distract myself by “focusing on creation” lol. I am like “God look at how awesome you made this earth around me: the trees, the stars, anything around me that isn’t inside, yes God all of that is so so beautiful.” But despite my best effort (writing this makes this effort seem extremely pitiful btw) we both know I was just running. God with His incredibly loving voice whispers “Katelyn go back inside”.
So I walk inside ready for God to show me that I didn’t mess it up. I wanted Him to tell me good job because this is twice now that I have obeyed when I didn’t want to, but that is not what I got. I came inside and saw J still standing on 1 foot with all her weight on her crutches. Before I can go back to freaking again, I hear what we call in my family as a “Rise Up Conversations” from God. He brought me back to the scripture in Matthew 17 that He had me read 7 times with the past 36 hours! (It really felt like over kill the 36 hours before this but hearing it in this moment, it all made perfect sense). “Jesus answered, ‘You Fools! You faithless and corrupt people! How long must I be with you… I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to a mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible for you!”
After reminding me of this passage God responded to me directly, “What kind of faith was in that prayer? That was ridiculous Katelyn, you prayed for her healing without any kind of expectancy that I would do what I said I would do. I was the one that sent you! I am not asking for much, just the size of a mustard seed kind of faith. Go back and pray for her again.”
At this point I knew He was right but I started freaking out again! How the hell do you go back up to someone and pray for them again? What do you say, “Sorry I didn’t have enough faith the first time so I have to pray for you again.” WHAT?!?!? For all the church people yes I know Jesus prayed twice so why can’t you. Yes, yes I get this but HOW DO YOU TRANSITION THAT? These were all my concerns, but I also knew I wasn’t getting out of this call. Once Jesus gives you a rise up conversation there is no avoiding it (we learned from Jonah’s unfortunate turn of events) , much less when you are only on day 4 of training camp and have 6 days to go. So I go behind the girl and just waited, trying to figure out what to do, what to say, how to approach this situation at all. At this moment God shows me how much He has my back: the person standing next to the girl I am suppose to pray for starts praying for her. I was like “OMG YOUR NOT GOING TO MAKE ME FIGURE OUT HOW TO AWKWARDLY TRANSITION THIS…. YOU’RE THE BEST GOD!” (Its the little victories that make it all feel doable)
At this point I am pumped and start praying intensely for this girl. God has me share with her that her foot problem is actually just a physical manifestation of her heart problem. He told me to tell her that although she could manage getting through life with this crippled heart just like she is managing to get through training camp with her crippled foot, that this isn’t the life He has for her. He said that tonight was the night that He wanted to completely heal her heart so she could walk in the freedom that He has made for her. (I am telling you exactly what He told me to share because I feel like one of you or many of you reading this blog need to hear this as well! There is a heavenly father who sent HIS SON (not a preacher or some other important figure) No He sent His Son down to earth so He could SET YOU FREE FROM WHATEVER YOU ARE TRAPPED IN)!!!! <if this is for you feel free to ask me and I would love to talk to you some more about it>
So I finished praying for her and stepped back while the rest of her squad came around her and continued praying. I am all excited now because I obeyed God even in the last thing I ever wanted to do. Not only that but I went back and prayed with so much faith, and watch how the words God gave me ministered to her so deeply. I was like for sure God is going to heal her tonight. He said her heart and foot were connected… this was it, the moment where I get to see God work a miracle through my hands. I was worshipping with such joy and expectation, constantly looking over for her to start putting weight on her foot.
It was about 10 minutes into this great deal of expectation and excitement that I heard God ask me, “So are you only going to obey me when you get to see what I heal?”At this moment the only response I could wrap my head around was “Well dammit” honestly! Of course my heart is not to only obey God when I get to see what He is doing, because then I would never get to be a part of what He is really doing.
So I got the point that He was making to me and I could see the trust that He was developing within me. At the end of the night, although I was disappointed that I didn’t get to actually see what He was doing, I was still happy that I listened because I did get to watch God’s words minister so deeply to her. My resolved place was that ultimately that’s what I want to do with my life, connect people to our God, so tonight my mission was accomplished!
So I felt like this story was over. I heard God, fought with Him through it, but ultimately felt blessed that He chose to used me to deliver His words to help heal someone’s heart; but you see my God is never about just affect one person. No my God has so interconnected our lives that He did not leave this lesson here. No he had me pray for healing again later on in the week with my entire squad, but positioned me in the place where I was the person touching the arm that we were praying for. I got to actually feel her arm physically change temperatures as we prayed for it 3 different times (yes I prayed more than once again :0 ). After this experience I was like God you are so cool, not only do you have me a part of J’s (the original girl I prayed for) healing, but let me physically feel as we prayed for other girls arm.
Yet again I was wrong about the ending of this story! Yesterday I was on facebook and I see the original girl I prayed for had posted a blog about training camp, so of course being the curious person I am, I want to read it. So there it is, right in front of me, God’s incredibly detailed love for me spilling out all over those pages. She wrote about that night and the freedom God had brought her through… GUYS EVEN THOUGH GOD DID NOT HAVE TO SHOW ME WHAT HE WAS DOING, HE CREATED A WAY FOR ME TO READ A VERY DETAILED ACCOUNT OF WHAT HE HAD HEALED!!! HE LET ME SEE WHAT SPECIFICALLY I HAD JUST BEEN A PART OF!! He showed me that he is really just a good good father who wants to teach us but ultimately who wants to shower us in His love even more!!! Needless to say I was balling and so incredible amazed by how much He has interconnected our lives. In this story alone He showed He loves me immensely, He healed J’s heart, He healed K’s arm, and those are the only 3 that I know about much less the other people praying for J, the rest of my squad who prayed for K, and I believe those of you reading this blog.
For many years I always thought God was just big because He created “Big” stuff, but after moments like this that I realize that its not the big stuff that really impresses me. What impressed me in the combination of all of these little moments in our lives are so interconnected and intentionally designed for each and every one of us. That our God is so big that He can create such complex plans with the combination of a thousand of little moments and choices that us flawed humans make. What a concept! That is why I titled this what I did… If you want to see God’s grandness just take a look, it is written within all the small details. I want to challenge you to not discount the small details of your life! The small tasks that seem tedious, the small gestures you may do, or even the smallest victories that you achieve. You serve a God who actually uses all of those small moments to do His mighty work through you and ultimately change the world around you! So step out in faith with expectancy, celebrate the small victories, and ultimately change the world around you!
All my love,
Katelyn <3
